Jenn Homann

kill people burn shit skip school

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

3-year-old: *crying*

Me: What’s wrong?

3: Pants make me sad.

Me, too, kid. Me, too.

[The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian]

1985: "I hope we'll have flying cars in the future!"

2017: "I just bought a fidget spinner for my cat."

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Coffee and popcorn for breakfast. This is adulting. This is fine. #MomHelp

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

When a snapchat filter makes you look like a fucking alien.. #KimKardashian

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

If I Ioved exercise as much as I love drinking and eating everything, I'd be the fittest bitch out there.

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Smashed the shit out of the front camera on my iPhone. My selfie game is dead. #yourewelcome

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

#MyFuture

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Went to sephora & bought mascara.. Turns out I bought $50 blue fucking mascara #Dior #ImAnIdiot #FuckingFuck

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

When a fucking good shows get cancelled after only 1 season and leaves you with a fucking cliffhanger ending. 😲🔫 #TheReturned

[One Ordinary Girl @audri_em]

I park next to white vans to spice up my life... Will I get abducted or not!? Nobody knows!!

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

"Instagram is like my happy place since I can't do drugs." -my cousins view on life. #SorryTwitter

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Sick of hearing about the Labour Party and the Conservative Party when everybody knows there ain't no party like an S Club Party

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Heey👋

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

@craig9022 I will say the B is pretty dull these days without you around to match my quick wit paired rude insults and sarcasm .

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

@craig9022 if it makes you feel better thinking that I do, then sure. 🙃

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

@craig9022 you disappoint me. I was really looking forward to the stop lunch on Friday... But only for the cheeseburger.

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

When someone only ever messages you to ask if you can find them drugs..? It's time to cut that person out of your life. #byefelicia

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

Wearing gold chains is the easiest way to let a woman know you're 35 and still don't have a savings account.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: What's puberty?

Me: It's when your body goes through changes.

5: Is that when I'll get my ice powers?

[Jenn Homann @jennhomes]

If your name is Rachel, chances are I probably hate you.