Jeremy

Funk is the problem and the solution.

[Jeremy @jer_mcdowell]

Rejected anarchist idea: Infesting Christmas trees with man-eating finches

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Chaps Unnecessary https://t.co/l4e0xH5827

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Narrow Line Of Dirt Not Being Swept Into Dustpan Without A Fight https://t.co/2p5ItbXb7U

[Immortal Technique @ImmortalTech]

Word...

[Azturk Holding @The_Chain_mp3]

@GordonRamsay what do you think of my dining hall's broccoli?

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

To be scientifically literate is to empower yourself to know when someone else is full of shit.

[Mason Cross @MasonCrossBooks]

My daughter actually submitted this feedback at school. Not sure if I should ground her or buy her ice cream...

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

What I really like about Mr. Trump is how true to his word he always is.

[relatable @byreIatable]

Summer for college kids is basically seeing how much money you can rack up and trying to get back in shape all within 3 months

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Capricious God Violently Shakes Ant Farm Day After Bestowing Orange Slices Upon Colony https://t.co/QVFzCCu2Vm

[Yashar Ali 🐘 @yashar]

Six different administrations.

Note: creator asked that I not tag them in this tweet.

[Chief Vibes Officer @TheFiFiGalvan]

If y'all can retweet for chicken nuggets, Y'all can RETWEET for my future!

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Customer Who Declined Initial Offer Of Assistance From Floor Salesman Comes Crawling Back https://t.co/BQctE8qfzM

[Carter Wilkerson @carterjwm]

HELP ME PLEASE. A MAN NEEDS HIS NUGGS

[David Simon @AoDespair]

RT this, please. Because it shouldn't be an abstraction when an 8-year-old goes to school and is shot to death in his classroom. https://t.co/EgfJBGvQtx

[🪩 mel 🪩 @daydreamingmeli]

I RECORDED PEOPLE RUNNING BECAUSE OF THE RAIN BUT THIS KID WAS JUST STANDING THERE SO I ENDED UP WITH THIS GEM

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Man Has Trouble Growing Full Beard Of Bees https://t.co/SF83OJJ5SC

[@[email protected] @Fenreliania]

While you were busy playing fetch, I was mastering the ancient weapons.