jack

🇮🇪 21

[jack @jerkyjerkjacks]

faded off a perc rn (took a melatonin and i am sleepy)

[Adrian @blagojevism]

French republicanism wishes it had the assimilationist power of the American Culture Borg, which, despite nasty xenophobic currents, generally respects particularity enough to swallow cultural differences whole. This is a megamosque.

[Justin🐀 @justbarke]

@BenjaminCrew1 “If there’s an animal video with a dubbed over baby voice, then the people in the breakroom need to know about it.”

[loogi @spaceland07]

me travelling back to september 10th, 2001 to warn the citizens of new york that the nintendo gamecube will be a commercial flop in north america

[Gabriel @gbrl_dick]

trying to play peekaboo with my child but he’s an opponent of the Great Man theory of history:

me: where’d daddy go?

baby: structural forces have caused my father to disappear

me: peekaboo!

baby: as a result of long-run dynamics, my father has returned

[ember 🐎 @emberlmao]

My dad watched most of TENET posed up like this then when it ended he told me he didn’t understand any of it

[reksi📕🇵🇸🔻 @autumnwoodlands]

hitting a fake wall in my gooncave to reveal a darker more vast goon cavern

[𝙂𝙤𝙙 𝙃𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙁𝙡𝙖𝙜𝙨 @vanillatary]

when a millennial pretending to be a zoomer calls their dog a doggo

[Isaac @GalaxyPeaBrain]

*rubbing my eyes like I've been lost at sea for over a year*

Do my eyes deceive me...is that...a Latina Tweet?

[my life is a living hell. every minute is torture @on_da_spectrum]

[recently divorced 36 y/o talking to group of uninterested 24 y/o girls at the bar]: Even though I’m a Man (ugh), I always felt I was deer-coded, maybe even fawn-coded{blood vessel in brain that has been narrowing for 3 years finally occludes} Uht oh, right arm is getting eepy !

[Fredrik’s personal @TheEditorDiary]

Why are Gr**nw**d fanatics jumping to the conclusion that Jude Bellingham called him a r_pist? The only evidence is just a video of him saying it… I thought that sort of things was far from conclusive

[randrew al-Gaib @DanFlashes99]

This is how I ask a chick if she came

[birdbath @birdbath]

“Mommy, where do gummy bears come from?”

“Why, the grocery store of course! Or before that, probably China. Hush now, I’m watching Ellen Degeneres & contemplating if I’d be happier as a lesbian. Don’t tell Daddy I smoked a menthol earlier. And never, ever look him in the eyes when the room is illuminated solely by candlelight. He’s an evil sorcerer. We’re in great danger, son. Most of it is your fault. But seriously cease with your dumbfuck inquiries. I want to kill you but I’d get in trouble”

[ZIIKO @ZIIKO_ART]

chinese beaver changed my life

[Wеld @Damedaweld_]

This might be the only Belgian nationalist ever

[Dave Kratzy @Krtzyy]

i got the perfect solution for you

[Jaketropolis @jaketropolis]

holy moly

[Aeaeae @porlachucha__]

@db_witch Ah sweet, Man made wonders that are in my comprehension range.