jessie💋

blessed.happy.loved.nerdy ✌️#dogmom #childmom Halloween is life 🎃 Fall is everything 🍁 I like weird & nerdy stuff & have crippling anxiety lol Red Aspen

[Supa Fly Hella Dope @cerealtndencies]

That rush of dopamine when you take that first bite of pizza

[Art E McFly @SabotagedSmoke]

Whoever named it Semen instead of Diquid really shit the bed on that one.

[Nick B™️ @senexy28]

Just in case no one tells you today. You're worth having around, you're worth committing to, you're worth appreciating, you're worth loving.

[Billy Club @BillyFuckinClub]

The first rule of the OCD club is to have a second rule so there’s an even number of rules

[ɴᴏ ᴄᴜᴛs ɴᴏ ʙᴜᴛs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴄᴏɴᴜᴛs @damn_elle]

No one can handle me. I can’t even handle myself half the time.

[MiAmo Ⓜ @MaMikeamo]

Although it's great to have some longtime childhood friends, I feel sorry for people who never made longtime friends past high school.

[Yael Bar tur @yaelbt]

This is Yaniv Sarudi.
Eyewitness account: Yaniv picked up 9 fleeing and wounded people in his regular car along the way as they were being attacked by terrorists in southern Israel. He drove them to an IDF base, but that base was under Hamas control. He kept driving under constant fire and waited with the injured 2 more hours till IDF special forces arrived. He died from his injuries but saved 8 lives. #HeroesofIsrael

[Kathleen @sweatsntopknots]

Amityville Horror, but it’s just me waking up every day at 3am for no reason at all.

[Late to the party Laura @ericamorecambe]

Critical thinking is what I excel at instead of sleeping at night.

[krista @kristabellerina]

I wish I loved anything as much as my husband loves telling me what time he got up today.*

*(4am)

[NUFF @nuffsaidny]

Everything I’ve learned about Will and Jada Pinkett Smith has been against my will.

[ЯOB.G @TheReaIRobG]

An ounce of encouragement when someone's down is worth more than a ton of praise when they're up!

[ⒷⓊⒷⒷⓁⓎ T 🇨🇦☀️🫧 @smileitsfree44]

When life shuts a door
Open it again
It’s a fucking door
It’s how they work.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Nothing ruins your Friday like finding out it's only Wednesday.

[your knight in tarnished armor @Steveepstein18]

Pretty sure half of Twitter is virtually engaging others for free therapy.

The other half is the shit that makes you need more therapy.

[ⒷⓊⒷⒷⓁⓎ T 🇨🇦☀️🫧 @smileitsfree44]

The great thing about me
Is what you see is what you get

The terrible thing about me
Is what see you is what you get 🤦🏼‍♀️

[Houston Hard Hitters @TXRednation01]

The worst kinds of situations are the situations where nobody knows the situation or what the situation is.

[Harry Potter @harrypotter]

We are incredibly saddened to hear of the passing of Sir Michael Gambon. He brought immeasurable joy to Harry Potter fans from all over the world with his humour, kindness and grace. We will forever hold his memory in our hearts.

[jessie💋 @jessbaird18]

Can you accept my invitation so that I can get a $22.29 free gift?
https://t.co/PWJFBgkKTv

[Simpsons Quotes @Simpsons_tweets]

"Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito."