Jess M

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Shower thoughts: I should take shorter showers

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Shower thoughts: when you stop to freshen your deodorant during the day, we should call it a pit stop

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Shower thoughts: why is the word "moist" gross, but "moisturizer" isn't?

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Shower thoughts: why don't we call fake pockets "mockets"?

[Julia @saltbone]

I wonder how Obama is these days. Do you think he's busy? Should I call him?

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@feiore @saltbone Haha yes girl treat yo self! Also we are stoked to see you!

[Julia @saltbone]

.@jesscmajor and I were discussing someone's husband & simultaneously started singing Cellblock Tango and that's how I know she's the one.

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Me: if I'm not cleaning, I'm sleeping
@saltbone: so you're a roomba
Me:
Me:
Me: yes

#Told

[Julia @saltbone]

I'm the man of this relationship.

By which I mean that all my most comfortable shirts become hers within hours of acquisition.

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Disappointment, a photo series

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@omgbbqsteve @saltbone @feistyredNL Sold.

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@omgbbqsteve @feistyredNL @saltbone Dang if you figure it out I will buy it from you

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@feistyredNL Hahahah I'm glad it made you laugh!

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

If I ever opened a fertility clinic, I would call it Preggo my Eggo

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@cassieSPWC @saltbone hahaha the cutest babushka

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

Storm day #2. @saltbone was real chilly

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@feistyredNL aww thanks hon!! I've had a really exciting day! 😊

[Julia @saltbone]

I can officially make the announcement, finally: @jesscmajor and I got engaged last week.

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@cassieSPWC @saltbone I appreciate you, Cass

[Jess M @jesscmajor]

@cassieSPWC @saltbone oh my gosh it was SO GOOD. We (mostly me) are the entire pint 🙊