Rizzle Dizzle J-Fizzle

I tweet for the dudes that strike out playing kickball

[kofie.substack.com @Kofie]

World Cup travelers watching Joey Chestnut

[amanda @jailedamanda]

Actually laughed out loud I fear

[Zac @Zaccornelius_]

OG!!!

[Jack Mac @JackMac]

This World Cup is going to give us things we’ll talk about for ages.

[Memes @PardonMyMeme]

Been crying all morning

Couldn’t afford Knicks tickets growing up and now I get to watch them on the biggest stage and probably the biggest game in franchise history

I love you so much @TickPick and am eternally grateful

[Valley Dept. @Valley_Dept]

Okay, who knows a judge in Tempe?

We need an injunction to get N’Keal and Eno their last year of eligibility back.

[Barstool SHSU @SHSUbarstool]

Don't worry, we'll take care of this.

[Calvin Applebottom II @_MaroonKoolAid]

Texas A&M joined the SEC in 2012. Lionel Messi is playing at Kyle Field before Georgia

[Wilson F. Ball @WillyFoosball]

Just got an early release copy of College Football 27.

Graphics look very dated

[mollie writes stuff @vuse_lover]

Met a guy recently named Jonathan who goes by Nathan. I didn’t even know you could do that

[Jeff Bell @4WhomJBellTolls]

You can get a 14 month CD for 4% interest and make $8,000 with no risk.

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Ok here’s the plan:
—win the lottery for Phoebe Bridgers tickets
—find a ceiling panel or crawlspace in which I can live undetected for four days
—$1 Knicks Finals ticket

[iza @izamamaa]

That machine wasn’t malfunctioning when it was busy taking people’s money.

[Molly🎧🏳️‍🌈 @RasberryRazz]

Good excuse to post one of my favorite jokes in cartoon history

[Danny Conrad @DannyJConrad]

“How about you not ask a trick question, ASSHOLE.”

Mintzy gets unreasonably mad at me for asking him what he wished for after blowing out his birthday cake candles

[Jerry O'Connell @MrJerryOC]

Kangaroo Jack was as close to perfection as cinema gets. No regrets and NO REFUNDS, millennials.

[Elai @elaifresh]

The Crunchwrap Supreme has existed for 5x longer than the Confederacy

[Parker 🐐 @DotComParker]

“Why didn’t I buy Bitcoin in 2010?”

me in 2010: