My body: “Hey, man, wake up. I know it’s four am but we gotta go to the bathroom.”
Me: “Ok but we can go back to sleep after, right?”
My body: “Of course of course of course”
*back in bed five minutes later*
Me: “Can we sleep now?”
My body: “lol no you complete idiot”
Republicans in congress cowering under their desks as violent men roam the hallways finally understand what they've put every school kid in America through.