Jill Fox

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

If your profile picture is of a car, I can tell you right now we won't be friends.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

You guys, I literally spoke to Draco Malfoy yesterday & didn't even realize 'til it was too late. @TomFelton hope you're enjoying Whistler!

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

I'll never forget telling my Mom "Dads having a gang bang in the hot tub with Tom & Steve" thinking that it just meant a party..

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

Step 1: Watch drunk idiots leave restaurant
Step 2: Watch same hungover idiots in the village the next day with 4 broken bones between them

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

4 different people left their dogs in the garden outside Earls today, I told tourists it was Whistlers dog garden, everyone took photos.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

How to lose friends and alienate people: buy your friends blowjob shots for no reason

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@Radio_Brent *lacks critical thinking skills*

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@Radio_Brent you can take Brent out of the emo, but can't take the emo out of Brent

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

I cry for all the same reasons a baby does, and then some.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

"Adios amiga!"
"Oh is she Mexican? I thought she was Jewish"
#overheardelderly

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

Perfecting the wink - A biography

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

Wtf is Pokemon Go?

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

After 6 months of living in Northern Quebec, I have friends that still think I was: "somewhere near Montreal"
No. I was so bloody far.

[Norm Kelly @norm]

Fridays aren't Fridays unless you ruin your diet.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@jillfoxx "Miss Ohio has needed very little training in her walking, she is a GREAT walker!"

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@Matt_Moreland_ https://t.co/V3SImA6zT0

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

[police pry someone out of my grasp]
officer: ma'am. For the last time you cant citizens arrest someone for using a mean tone with their dog

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

Roommate: "Ok let's make a deal, I'll do the dishes an-"
Me: "Great idea, thanks! *leaves room*

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@Matt_Moreland_ It was supposed to be a joke but I think I lost a friend out of it lol

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

Note to self: Never ask "Is this Creed?" when a Nirvana song is playing.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

@Radio_Brent https://t.co/FGzXx9H5Z2

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

I know my children are going to warn their future partners not to shit talk Shrek in front of me.

[Jill Fox @jillfoxx]

"Don't tell me you're pregnant, Jillian"
Looks like my Dad caught on after 8 years of the same April Fools text.