Janezzlle

My heels are high. My liquor is top shelf.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Don't send wrinkle cream to a Botox fight.

[It's just Steve @dadnceli]

Protect her heart

Slap her ass

Share your fries

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Instagram: Like this picture now or I will continue showing it to you until you do.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

I hate to tell my daughter that she just just traded her college fund for her extra long shower.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

@PolitcalCapitaI Misery

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

I don’t know whether I am reading The Onion or the New York Times anymore.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Women who ask if you’ve lost weight are the best women.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

When I watch the reporters who cover a hurricane, I wonder what they did to piss their boss off.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

I wished I loved anything like CNN loves a hurricane.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

The most used utensil in our kitchen is the ice cream scoop.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Limbo is the worse dance to live in.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Thanks to insomnia I get to catch up on all that anxiety I couldn't get to earlier in the day.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Nothing says Rest In Peace like a cooler full of beer at a funeral.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

I like to use hard labor to teach my children the valuable lesson of marring wealthy.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

You Can't Have Too Many Nude Lipglosses.

-An Autobiography

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

@Jarhead44 Your compassion and empathy is inspiring. Thank you

[Ashley △⃒⃘ @ashmensch]

If you ever see me driving slow it's because I just dropped whatever I was eating.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

We didn't have all this colluding with Russia back when people could smoke at their desks.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

@Rag3ryan I'll buy what I want

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Watching the POTUS fly off for another weekend vacation, while I'm clipping coupons. Sad.

[Janezzlle @jnellbg]

Birthdays sure hurt more than they used to.