Johnny Slammo

I love my wife.

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

I can feel the formation of man-tits, my massive gut is overworking and warping my diaphragm, my breathing patterns have changed, my tastebuds crave goyslop, my blood is thick. I am at the point the average American can not return and I will show you how you can do it with ease.

[BBC News (UK) @BBCNews]

Gonorrhoea and syphilis hit record levels in Europe https://t.co/eH8lJ0EmtD

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

I Think @JohnnySlammo Is Back

[John @JohnnySlammo]

New feature mockup I've been working on. Lmk what u think @Jack

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

I Think @JohnnySlammo Is Back

[HustleBitch @HustleBitch_]

🚨 AMERICANS ARE JUST NOW REALIZING THEIR “ICE CREAM” ISN’T EVEN LEGALLY ICE CREAM ANYMORE

"Does anybody know what's happened to Breyers ice cream...that it's no longer ice cream?"

A couple posted a viral video after buying a tub of what they thought was normal ice cream only to discover the packaging never uses the words ice cream anywhere.

Instead, the label says “Frozen Dairy Dessert.”

Why?
Because years ago, companies quietly changed their recipes:

• Less cream
• More air
• More gums & stabilizers
• Cheaper fillers
• Ingredients that no longer meet FDA standards to legally call it ice cream

The wife says she bought this thinking she was being “moderately healthy,” until she noticed something insane:

“NOWHERE on here does it say ice cream.”
“It literally says frozen dairy dessert."
“This was the ice cream of my childhood…now it tastes TERRIBLE."

She opens the container and immediately freaks out:

“First of all… what is this texture?”
“It tastes metallic.”
“It’s forming a FILM inside my mouth."
“This is NOT ice cream.”

Her husband jumps in:

“This used to be the PREMIUM ice cream of the bourgeoisie.”

She stops him, but keeps inspecting the tub:

“They made it LOOK like ice cream… the fancy label, the ‘Rainforest Alliance’ leaf… the Grade A milk logo… but WHAT am I actually eating here?”
“Because it’s definitely not ice cream.”

People across the internet are now checking their own tubs and realizing the same thing - half the brands in their freezer aren’t even allowed to be called real ice cream.

Did you know companies legally reclassified this stuff… or have you been eating ‘frozen dairy dessert’ without realizing it?

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Leaked recording reveals Campbell's exec's shocking remarks about soup's ingredients:

“We have sh*t for f*cking poor people. Who buys our sh*t? I don’t buy Campbell’s products barely anymore. It’s not healthy now that I know what the f*kcs in it...bioengineered meat, I don’t wanna eat a piece of chicken that came from a 3D printer.”

[MatPat @MatPatGT]

Choose you font carefully, my friend...

[JJ @larryappletime]

The average response of a teacher is American pub school is “I’m not dealing with this” SO when did we ever expect anything to work when the average person is so emotionally charged and tampered with

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[Windows Latest @WindowsLatest]

Microsoft admits File Explorer is slow in Windows 11, and it’s going to preload it in the background to help improve launch performance.

“This shouldn’t be visible to you, outside of File Explorer hopefully launching faster when you need to use it,” Microsoft confirmed.

If you don’t want Windows 11 to preload File Explorer, you can uncheck the option called “Enable window preloading for faster launch times” in File Explorer’s Folder Options under View.

File Explorer is still snappy on Windows 10, but the modernized Windows 11 version also brought slower performance.

This change is rolling out to Windows Insiders.

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

Trump is reportedly pushing that Paramount make another Rush Hour, per Semafor.

[Yung Lean Brasil @yungleanbrasil]

face reveal do adm

[Rico @furiousfade]

You can’t make this up. actually sick to my stomach.

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

“The card reader is telling me to remove card?”

[Johnny Slammo @johnEslammo]

Merry Christmas Xbox