Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder

Briefly screams daily from existential dread

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Current Mood: singing "Help" by the Beatles but with slowly increasing amounts of panic with each use of the word Help until the last verse is just me screaming in sheer terror

[Jillian Goltzman @Jillian_Writes]

Me explaining Beanie’s early departure and Lea Michele’s 13-year-long mission to star in Funny Girl to my boyfriend for the last 12 hours.

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@kearakirks Please tell me you didn’t answer

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Maddie: “My life goal is to go to two rodeos. That way, when I go to the second one, I can say ‘This ain’t my first rodeo’”

[Sean Holloway @CoolSeanDotCom]

It’s me, high school senior Dear Evan Hansen

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@Lauren_Brandt__ Suck it Lauren

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Charlie from Twilight is the only good cop.

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@2margaritamarm “YEAH. THATS RIGHT. THATS WHAT YOU SOUND LIKE.”

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

A lovely conversation with @thatwelshgirl12 ❤️

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@Lauren_Brandt__ That is a good answer

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Megan watching Fellowship of the Ring for the first time: “I thought the fellowship was gonna be, ya know, STACKED. I didn’t realize it’s 50% HOBBIT. Literally trade out Dumb and Dumber for like two more elves”

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@Lauren_Brandt__ “Why does Lauren like them?? Name ONE good quality about them besides being a body-double for Bobo” (again, she means Frodo)

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

“GANDALF’S DEATH WAS SO PREVENTABLE!!! Literally just send in the two disposable hobbits to yoink him up oh my god”

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

“My ideal fellowship is like 6 wizards, one elf and dwarf, and Bobo (Frodo)”

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@Lauren_Brandt__ Elsie demands you get cat

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Mulan (the OG one) is funnier when you realize it’s Disney’s apology for that one really racist Asian joke in Aristocats

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@olivyabmd THE PERFORMERS HAVE HAD CLINICS THIS ENTIRE TIME???!!!

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Up until now, I thought I was the whitest black man I’d ever met. But after watching Matt from this season of the Bachelor, there is in fact a new contender

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

@Lauren_Brandt__ I KNOW RIGHT???!!!

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

Apparently I showed Megan too many memes and she charged me $5

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

“I WOULD ACTUALLY HATE IT LESS IF IT HAD A PENIS”

[Artist Formerly Known as Bob the Builder @john_winter10]

*Megan watching me watch Attack on Titan*

WHY DOES IT HAVE A CREW CUT. WTF IS THIS ASS-IN-THE-AIR KEN-DOLL EXORCIST LOOKING BITCH. WHY CANT YOU WATCH CUTE ANIME. I COULD BE LOOKING AT CHUBBY PIKACHU RIGHT NOW.