John Goldsmith PhD

The most interesting man in the World

[Evan “EJ” Walters @EJWalters43]

“As I wrap up my internship” shut the fuck up, literally no one gives a fuck

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Met the bird’s dad for the first time last night at the racetrack. It’s possible the guy is more of a degen than I am. #fuckinrights

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Loser I knew freshman year keeps calling me to sell life insurance. Know your market or hit the oil rig. #fag

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

How did women find out about deep cut Dire Straits? Why do they find it necessary to use it on all their posts? #unfortunate

[Sheriff Buford T. Justice @BurnerTJustice]

Don’t get me wrong, the loss of a close friend or family member is horrible, but I feel like I would never make a post on instagram about it

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Sports betting on Dude Perfect challenges with the fellas #CBTM

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Whatever suits your boat

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Highly recommend getting drunk and watching history channel

[Kenny Smithey @ksmitheygolf]

I think we gotta ban "Add post to story" from Instagram for college-aged people. Thanks!

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

Love it when my bot Euchre partner calls suit without either bauer. #nicebill

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

@PabloEjr18 Wow, never seen such a tweet before. Fucking jackass

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

“Nothing makes me want to drink more than Skynrd”- Mother #elite

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

@F70945206F Buddy you took this picture on a public bus. Let’s pipe down

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

They fucking whacked Adriana??? WHAT THE FUCK #sopranos

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

@dondeestalawa Shoot me

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

@CalClutter81277 ‘Tis

[John Goldsmith PhD @johngoldsmit]

@F70945206F Mr. Jackson,

I understand your conviction in regard of this matter. I too am sick of professors being hired from the cast of Blood Diamond and Captain Phillips.

[Fletcher Lawson @The_Law82]

Peripheral vision and sunglasses at the pool. Need I say more #LANK