Johnny Honesty

Raging Anarchist / Seafood Lover

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Twitter, or as I like to call it: text messages to no one

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

They say masturbation causes blindness but I can still see shapes

[Ms. Monster @SpacePlankton]

Spend 30 minutes explaining to the caricature artist how you're already your own caricature, so his services aren't necessary.

[Trudacious @Trudacious]

Demons tend the fire within …

stay warm my friends.

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Liquefy her love button

[on the rocks @jimjacknjohnnie]

Drunk if I do, drunk if I don't.

[☆TheOutLawLuckyStar☆ @WinterreptileIn]

Criminally underpriced talent, my management firm would never allow you to settle for anything under $15 #PaulHeyGuy https://t.co/VnJKGD0F3B

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

{lost in the folds of your velvet pudding}

[Jimmy!!✨ @kyriakoutsakos]

@JohnnyHonesty I got a 10 spot on me😘

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

I'm cincosexual, which means for five bucks I'll bang anyone

[LOLI'mDrunk, KoolAid @lolimdrunk]

My friend's dog and I touched tongues, and now he's following me around everywhere

[Coal Slag @coalslag]

I do declare this here tweet was done with a suthun accent.

[Jimmy!!✨ @kyriakoutsakos]

A sweet day to everyone!! 💗💗💗

[Trudacious @Trudacious]

The first 110 rounds are the easiest.

[Trudacious @Trudacious]

Snow angels stole the daffodils.

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Regina the Liquid Weatherwoman always nails the five-day

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Play ball

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

There's nothing better than a naked girl in your bedroom singing "How Deep Is Your Love." Also she has a fistful of Rolos

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Sometimes you have to chug a jar of applesauce just to see if your pancreas will explode

[Goldishocks @Goldishocks]

Damp on a lamp means an electrocuted vamp.