Turns out I don’t particularly care for 11,000 of the folks I followed, and since I’m not douchey enough to do a mass unfollow (this is a lie - I’m actually just too lazy), I’ve started a new account.
The only reason I’m keeping this account open is because Ricky Gervais once read one of my tweets on an Afterlife promo, and when he finally decides he loves me, too, he’ll know where to find me.