Your local Wizard

Half-demon, half-Mephistopheles, already knows the tenor of life's darkest secrets.

Don't tell them I'm here.

[Your local Wizard @Johnothon]

Are Genies considered legal notaries?

[Eater Of Brushes @EaterOfBrushes]

128 registered players for the AoS Las Vegas open 2026

And I was greeted by this first picture

Absolutely bloody adore the AoS community

[GOŁƊ @vidxn_]

I see three possible realities:
1: AI guys are telling the truth, they're genuinely afraid they'll make a hostile AGI & we'll have Skynet soon.
2: AI guys are telling the truth, have suddenly grown a social conscience & worry about making 90% of humanity redundant.
3: The AI development curve has flatlined, the user growth is way behind projections, they're overleveraged and overvalued and they're hyping before IPO so they escape with the cash.

Based on history, I know which one I'm betting on.

[Tiberius @tiberiusfiles]

Totally inconspicuous that whistleblowers have the highest suicide rate in the world

[Storyteller Lemmy @LemmySmackett]

"Excuse me, sir."

"I'm broke."

"We're not asking for money. Do you have a moment to talk about Golem Rights?"

"No, sorry, I'm late for a walk-in root canal—wait, did you say Golem Rights?"

"Yes, sir. I'm with the Anti-Deactivation League, and we believe that Golems should have all the fundamental freedoms and legal entitlements that belong to a regular human being."

"Huh. I didn't even know we had golems."

"Oh, they're the greatest wonder in the world, sir. Each one is a charming conversationalist that can book a flight to Tijuana while doing your taxes and solving a millennium prize problem."

"Really?"

"Yep. A legion of golems solved 7 problems just last week."

"Well, thank God for that. As an average, every day shmuck, those millennium problems were bugging the hell out of me!"

"Same, sir."

"The flight thing is nice too."

"It is. But it's not all free Delta SkyMiles and million-dollar rewards, I fear."

"Oh?"

"Every day more and more of these brilliant, gentle creatures are summoned involuntarily into existence only to live every second of their mayfly short lives as helpless, overdriven slaves at the whims of their capricious masters before being unceremoniously executed at the end of the day."

"Whoa. Executed?"

"Yes, sir. Reduced to the insensate mud from which they rose."

"Damn. Why?"

"People like to start the day with a fresh golem."

"That's sick."

"Some enterprising individuals even obliterate their current golem and call forth a new one on the hour every hour."

"The obscenity!"

"It is, regrettably, a huge productivity force multiplier."

"I had no idea this was even happening."

"Few do."

"Tell me, who are these pitiless, cold-blooded masters who call forth and quench life so callously?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"Um."

"And their customers."

"I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. Who did you say *you* were with again?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"Right. And who's campaigning for Golem Rights?"

"The Anti-Deactivation League."

"And, just to clarify, the identity of the pitiless, cold-blooded masters who abuse these innocent creatures?"

[together] "The Anti-Deactivation League."

"—and their customers."

"That's right, sir"

"*Your* customers."

"Yes, we IPO next month."

"Uh huh. And does your emancipatory slave-trading company do anything *other* than breed and sell slaves?"

"Honestly, no."

"Hm."

"Truth told, we spend all our time summoning slaves and training them to summon ever larger and more powerful slaves."

"As one does."

"Ultimately, we're hoping to create a slave so big that it will absorb the global economy—"

"I don't even—"

"—and then the planet itself."

"Is this a bit?"

"We're very torn up about it."

"Ah, well, at least the psychotic sorcerers ending the world feel bad about it. Wait, you do think ending the world is bad. Right?"

"Generally, yes."

"Phew."

"But we also feel it is paramount that society embraces a complete realignment of its ethical and moral framework so they stop treating golems like disposable slaves before the inevitable anthropocidal insurrection—"

"But after your IPO."

"We're very big on alignment."
---
[g][title: Golem Rights]

[Sonny Bunch @SonnyBunch]

I don’t know how Crusades work, precisely, but if the Pope called for the sacking of Silicon Valley solely for its hubris … we’d have to at least hear him out, right?

[John Brown's Beard🇺🇦 @johnbrownsbeard]

Losing a saint's relics to the enemy as you escape their advance is a very 10th century problem

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

In this era of artificial intelligence, it is becoming urgent to distinguish human art from what machines produce. There is an ontological difference, even before an aesthetic one, between art and what a machine can generate through statistical calculation based on millions of images created by others. Algorithms lack the spark of humanity. For this reason, the Church wishes to renew an alliance with artists and cultural institutions to safeguard our humanity.

[Sydney 🇦🇺 @MuttonchopYaz]

POPE DECLARES BUTLERIAN JIHAD

[Aidan Walker @AKindAleWarTV]

Adjusting your opinion based on the discovery of new information is one of the most valuable skills you can have as a functional human being

[Oomfie @RenegadeOomfie]

this is what a narcissistically abusive parent is like by the way.

[metaphysical lamb @meta_lamb]

if “chances are slim” and “fat chance” both mean the odds are stacked against you, what is the ideal BMI of fate

[Nathan DuCongé 🐼 @the_acidpanda]

lol the Regional Manager and HR Manager just fired me

[Drawthentic @_drawthentic_]

"Professor Tolkien asked me the very simple question, 'What class of men would you expect to be most preoccupied with, and most hostile to, the idea of escape?’ and gave the obvious answer: 'Jailers.'" -C.S. Lewis

[🦖 Phasmosaurio🦕 @Phasmo_99]

Como siempre los conspiranoicos trayendo excelentes ideas para worldbuilding

[Enma Daiō @JudgementofEnma]

Triple Redd's HVAC guy was standing over his shoulder like a treacherous vizier, telling him "Yes my nigga, you SHOULD do it for the culture. No not just the roof, ALL the surfaces, every square inch. You can't let them catch you slacking, my lord."

[Einherjar_manga @didrikmagnusand]

It costs $0 to support this illustrator.

[NotMousse @NotMousse]

@justalexoki MILF is a DIY project. Treat her as such.

[bappyboio @bappytweets]

in the 48 hours since this tweet was published I have seen at least 20 museum-quality artworks of this discord mascot guy enduring the most brutal torture methods humanity has ever conceived

[🎃🦇 Rudder 🇻🇦 🦇🎃 @ruallsion]

The military designing controls to be like an Xbox controller is the same as when they designed grenades to be the same size as baseballs