John F. Sudduth

Staunch American. Mississippi born and bred. BullDawg for life. I've called Colorado, Wyoming and Montana home.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@DarlineGrahamSC 👇🏼 I think all these people are right, yet you won anyway. Weird. I hope they're all wrong, but I fear not.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@votetimscott Doesn't look like many people seem to feel the same as you. I think they are right. Yall all become sell-outs.

[🇺🇸 🦅Simple Man 🦅🇺🇸 @Soaringeagle45]

😂🤣😂🤣

MEMPHIS BURGLAR PICKS THE ONE HOUSE HE REALLY, REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE

MEMPHIS, TN — Memphis police say one would-be burglar is reportedly reconsidering several of his recent life choices after breaking into a home where the homeowner apparently takes the phrase “protecting my property” very seriously.

Neighbors near South Parkway reported hearing a man screaming around 3:15 a.m. Witnesses initially assumed somebody had discovered their Waffle House order was wrong.

Turns out, it was 28-year-old Derrick “Dee” Caldwell discovering that he had selected perhaps the worst possible house in Memphis for a midnight burglary.

The homeowner, Raymond “Ray” Boudreaux, is a retired corrections officer, amateur taxidermist and self-described “backyard combat enthusiast.”

So, basically, Derrick picked a house where the welcome mat should probably read:

“You Break In, We Both Have A Bad Night.”

Police say Derrick entered through a rear window, apparently unaware that Ray's homemade security system is set to what he calls “Armageddon Mode.”

The system reportedly includes floodlights bright enough to illuminate Arkansas, a speaker that blasts Ray yelling “WHO GOES THERE?!”, and the release of Ray’s extremely enthusiastic pit bull, Brutus.

Derrick allegedly made it approximately six feet into the kitchen before Brutus introduced him to the hardwood floor at a speed normally reserved for NFL linebackers.

Unfortunately for Derrick, his landing spot was directly beside a rack of homemade deer jerky.

Because apparently even the snacks were against him.

Ray told officers he came downstairs “calm as a cucumber,” wearing pajama pants and carrying a cast-iron skillet.

He said the skillet was “for balance.”

Sure, Ray.

Derrick was reportedly lying on the floor in the fetal position, apologizing to Brutus and possibly reconsidering every decision that had led him to that exact kitchen.

Ray allegedly looked down at him and asked:

“Son, did you mean to break into my house, or are you just terrible at Google Maps?”

Derrick reportedly replied, “Sir, I made a mistake.”

Ray said that was “the first accurate thing he’d said all night.”

Police say Derrick was cooperative when they arrived.

Mostly because Brutus was sitting on him.

When asked what he learned from the experience, Derrick reportedly said:

“If you’re gonna break into somebody’s house, maybe don’t pick the one with a truck outside that has a bumper sticker saying ‘I Wrestle Gators For Fun.’”

Police confirmed Derrick faces burglary-related charges.

They also reportedly confirmed that his dignity is already serving a life sentence.

Ray declined to pursue additional action, saying:

“The boy’s pride is gone. That oughta be enough.”

And honestly, somewhere tonight, Derrick is probably staring at the ceiling wondering how a burglary turned into a free lesson in home security, animal husbandry and poor decision-making.

Memphis: where even the burglars occasionally discover they have made a terrible investment...

Cliff Messer

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@catturd2 👇🏼All this. She's not good.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@RyanAFournier She's a puppet, DEI, anti second amendment, Trey Gowdy likes her, she's using Nancy Pelosi-esque responses (you have to elect me to see what I think), and three different Fox mouth pieces have all used the same word (stalwart) to describe her within 15 minutes. This is bad.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@votetimscott You're a fraud. Disappointed.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@BernieSanders You're a fool

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@TimRunsHisMouth No

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@ValerieAnne1970 Pst... veterinarians knew it 20 plus years ago.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@Real_RobN So, is the recipient not also legally liable?

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@SenTomCotton You don't do what you say 👇🏼.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@andweknow Probably more than half of 'em did it or show.

[Dr. Maalouf ‏ @realMaalouf]

A Muslim passenger:
"Excuse me, would you turn off the music?"

The driver:
"Why?"

The passenger:
"Music is haram."

The driver:
"Why is music haram?"

The passenger:
"Because there was no music in the time of prophet Muhammad."

The driver:
"Well, get off then. There were no cars back then either. A camel will come pick you up."

😂🤭😂

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@SenSanders How about let's quit stealing from it and giving it to illegals.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@SenBillCassidy If y'all hadn't given billions to fraudulent causes and fraudulent NGOs and illegals, we wouldn't have a social security problem.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@mazemoore He took too many licks to the head or he's a sellout.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@SenJohnBarrasso You e been a disappointment. What happens to y'all when you get to DC?

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@ericmmatheny I try to keep my mouth shut and not be inappropriate. But these people are so filled with hate and have ZERO tolerance of others. Not to mention their beyond primitive behavior. Fuck 'em.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@Mike_Pence God, I'll never know how/why you were picked for VP.

[John F. Sudduth @johnsudduthdvm]

@DrNeilStone Vectors, vectors, vectors!