Jokes of the day

Jokes of the day .net - more than ten jokes updated daily. Joke archive. Top rated jokes. Funny video of the day. Funny photo of the day.

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I heard Dracula has started selling NSFW content...
He's started an OnlyFangs.
🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍‍
Why was Dracula a bad CEO?
He was always avoiding the stakeholders.
🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍🧛🏻‍‍
3 vampires are having a competition to prove who's the most vicious ... https://t.co/XLaW4RrO5b

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

My wife and her sister fell out on a holiday trip…
The rest of the balloon flight was, however, peaceful!

My friend asked me if I was ready to go to n*dist party
I said, "I was born ready"

A coma in a sentence can ... https://t.co/vGzVLR0eIt

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

International Dance Day Jokes
How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?
5678

Why do dancers say 5, 6, 7, 8?
Because the musicians already took 1, 2, 3, 4.

I started taking salsa dancing lessons but feel l...
https://t.co/Obp7PsadAc

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

New Beer’s Eve Jokes.

Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of a group of grains
that could have become beer but didn't.

How can you show that you're planning for the future?
Buy 2 cases of beer instead of 1.

Why does Corona go through your system ... https://t.co/Ax3Ta9W1l8

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

🥕 Carrot Day Jokes

Why do sailors eat so many carrots?
It helps them sea better!
Why was the programmer eating carrots?
So that they could C#!

How do carrots pay their bills?
With celery.

Why did the carrot go to therapy?...

https://t.co/KGWkhXJLE4

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

Peanut Butter and Jelly Day Jokes

Why did the peanut butter break up with the jelly?
Because it felt smothered!

What’s a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’s favorite type of music?
Smooth jams.

Why did the PB&J go to therapy? ...

Read more on page: https://t.co/R27h9dYusu

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I don't worry about Friday the 13th.
It's bad luck to be superstitious.

On Friday the 13th, I dreamt that a horse in armor was chasing me....

https://t.co/Bd1sDBiXb6

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

Sadly my obese parrot just died.
But it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

As I was sitting drinking my morning cup of tea in my slippers, I thought to myself...
I really must wash ... https://t.co/J8S2pDtLmI

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing?
"I'm a cashew!"

Why did the nut go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little nutty.

What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew!

How do you ... https://t.co/Ywq7tILtoR
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #NationaNutDay

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I like my coffee like “I like my coffee” jokes.
Not made by me.

Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged!

What do you call sad coffee ... https://t.co/YnS7H1vXsP

#InternationalCoffeeDay #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?
Monday the whatever.

Why is Friday the thirteenth one of the worst days to get arrested on?
Because the judge will only be in on Monday.

What day do eggs ha... https://t.co/LLXuUeYRiP

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #friday13th

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I had a joke about Labor Day...
unfortunately it didn’t work out

Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?
It really doesn’t work for me.

What’s a laborer’s favorite exercise?
“Work-outs!”

Why do locksmiths work on Labor Day?  ... https://t.co/VYbbtEf6ot

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

Me: You know, since it doesn't have a tail, I'm pretty sure it is actually a hamster.
Tech support: Okay sir. Please right-click your hamster...

It was sad to read that the guy who invented the computer mouse died.
Police suspect witchcraft as ... https://t.co/mZyEuwS8Ul

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.
- Mark Simmons

I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like ... https://t.co/4aVx0f0Uy8

#EdinburghFringe #EdinburghFringe2024 #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I returned my lizard to the pet store as he wouldn’t stop telling dad jokes.
That’s not a lizard, the store clerk told me.
That’s a stand-up chameleon

I saw a lizard ...
and it became. ... https://t.co/UQsWneebA2

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLizardDay

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

My grandfather has the heart of a lion,
And also a lifetime ban at the zoo.

What's the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A lion won't golf.
But a Tiger wood.

What did Spartacus say when ... https://t.co/nFHxu1xL2K

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLionDay

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I really enjoy hearing all of the national anthems played at the Olympics.
I love country music

What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common ... https://t.co/6WW6d1Nm4Y

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

I was once served French pancakes in a haunted house…
They gave me the crepes!

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?
Tony.

It's ironic how funeral...

https://t.co/Mw9l5fP88K

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …
And 100% of men don’t care.

My sister told me yoga is the best form of exercise in the world.
I said, "that's a ... https://t.co/6tccBPqp16

#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #yoga #InternationalYogaDay

[Jokes of the day @jokesofthedaydn]

What did the dyslexic man order at the Italian restaurant? Tapas.

Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.

Did you hear about the plant ...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldTapasDay https://t.co/D3Km7LGQPC