Jon Canter

I write plays, scripts and novels and live by the sea in Suffolk.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

So thrilled was I when I got my first Moulinex that I went on a three-day blender.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

For Biden to pick Trump as his Veep is a masterstroke that will unite America. And by calling Trump ‘she’, Biden has promised that if Trump transitions, she’ll be immune from prosecution. Donald Trump may have committed crimes but Donna Trump is innocent.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@mrjohnofarrell Thank you. I’ve worn this for weeks and now I’m going to…wait for it…wait for it…CHANGE

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

Tories! Sing with me now…🎶🎶 Things can only get bitter 🎶

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

Tories predicted to lose 241 seats. But it would’ve been 242 if Boris hadn’t campaigned. The man’s a winner.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@Chrishdouglas I’m afraid you’re confused. The brown stuff in the foreground is also sea.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

‘Head-to-head debate between Rishi Sunak and Keir Starmer’. That’s what the BBC newsreader was trying to say. But what he said was ‘hate-to-hate’.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

What are your Guilty Displeasures? Things you feel bad about not liking. I’ll start: Nick Cave, sailing.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

If you live in Suffolk Coastal, you’ll know what to do.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@Hertsnik @OED Thank you…

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@thebellow Excellent. That’s such a Tom Hiddlestonic.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

How can you tell Tom Holland from Tom Hollander and Tom Holland?

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@JohnPollock @almurray @douglasadams @johnmitchinson As a co-writer, I was always wondering, would Douglas Adams have liked this? So it hasn’t evolved beyond his lifetime, if you see what I mean…

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@JaneReynolds8 Thank you! And why not?

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@doctoryatt Write it as a political play that advances the levelling-up potato agenda. It could follow Nye at the National…

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

Writers! Have you got any titles you don’t know what to do with? I’m giving away ‘Do Flies Go With That Sheikh?’ Enjoy!

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@shugwud Thanks, Erc.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

Anyone else think Cillian Murphy would have made a great Ken?

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

You either love people who hate Marmite or you hate them. Or you’re indifferent.
There are no four ways about it.

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

@DavidTylerPozz I was mad for it till I saw the tickets were free. If they’d said £300 it would have been the battery cells equivalent of SJP and Matthew Broderick in Plaza Suite. A total must-see!

[Jon Canter @joncanter3]

When we wake up, we want to see green. All green. We’re the Wordles of Wimbledon Common.