Jon Curtis

I invented the internet.

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@Lions #bradholmes #dancampbell

Do the right thing. Trade for @QuinnenWilliams. Let’s go win a #SuperBowl

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@realDonaldTrump @POTUS Your parents never loved you and it shows.

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@Evan_Kilometers @djrobinson07 @Josiah_Blevins Dan, I bet you won’t hit him.

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Today I had a meeting to determine the reason we were having the meeting.
#corporatelife #meetingsonmeetings

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Coworker: Jon, why are you crying?
Me: **blasting Concerning Hobbits in my headphones**
My family died in a plane crash yesterday...

#lotr #concerninghobbits #allthefeels

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Listening to the Lord of the Rings soundtrack while at work puts me right in the movie.

Manager: Think we’ll have those videos done by next week, Jon?
Me: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us...”
Manager: ....
Me: ....

I might get fired.

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Week 3 of working in a corporate environment: the noises that come from the bathroom stalls are surreal. It sounds like most people are fighting for their lives in there. And they aren’t winning the battle.
#corporatelife #worklife #9to5 #heartattacksgalore

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@bd_lang Oh boy. I can’t wait for that! 💀💀💀

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Week 2 of working in a corporate environment: I heard colleagues debating on why wearing short sleeves in the office is better than long sleeves... because, “long sleeves are too restricting.”
This is going to be a crazy ride. #officelife

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

It’s unhealthy how into it I get when watching #thepriceisright
I’m jumping up and down with all these people like I won the money.
#unreal

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

“What’s the matter kid? You’ve never had lamp chops?”

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@MCieslak4 It all comes full circle

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@macfaulkner Lethal Weapon 5

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@grgarside captcha is not working again.

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

@JERFsolo Hey, it’s foggy in San Francisco...

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

I get around to watching the entire series of #TheOffice about once a year and I still weep uncontrollably when it's all over. #GOAT

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

What a scam #fightnight

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

This was the first CD I ever owned. Linkin Park was the first band I… https://t.co/Jq3oK7gf7x

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

Just casually looking for pillows on @amazon ... But is it comfortable?
#greatfind #onlineshopping

[Jon Curtis @joncurtisshow]

"R is one of the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not muckduck." #TheOffice #thingsdwightsays