JBird

if you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

If ever in distress, make like the sound of music and run for the hills.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

I always travel with my passport, you never know when someone wants to whisk you away.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

"I'll take you to the butcher shop, I'll let you lick my lamb chop" @scubaphteven

[JBird @joni_dewar]

It's actually shocking how much you can hide behind a screen.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

I don't look for trouble, but trouble looks for me.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

Here comes a hurricane, trouble is her middle name.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

Never have I ever seen a more heinous crime. Shame on you, that sashimi deserved a home...in my belly!

[JBird @joni_dewar]

He's a casanova, he counts cards when he's got four queens up his sleeve.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

@scubaphteven no, unless you call them a porky Jew boy.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

@scubaphteven yas qwaan.

[JBird @joni_dewar]

Now that my entire profile consists of @scubaphteven - take the hint and follow that diver 🏊

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

We are gonna have to flinstone our asses home now cause there's no fuel in the car

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Good morning world. This is your new future. Come!

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

That was v steep and the car was mal stalling. V stoned. I rly rly didn't think we were going to make it.

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Joni sat on my glasses, now my face skew.

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Do you know what I've had? It!

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Joni: "is this like a fake person that you sleep with?" Referring to my bed

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Just watch what you say, I might tweet it

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

I am terrible with names, faces and people

[Scuba Steve @scubaphteven]

Had a dream last night that I was gonna start commuting by helicopter. No more hills v steep. #gettinghigher #commute