🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
Reports indicate that a plane has crashed into the East River NYC .
The incident has been confirmed, and the NYPD, FDNY, and other emergency responders are currently responding to the scene.
You only had a 2.7% chance of being born an American.
If you were lucky enough to be a native born American, you already won at life.
🇺🇸🇺🇸 Happy 250th Birthday, USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸
Continental Congress HAS SIGNED A DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!
The UNITED STATES are OFFICIALLY INDEPENDENT from BRITAIN.
LIBERTY BELLS ring out throughout Philadelphia; the streets ERUPT IN ECSTASY.
For some unknown reason, Thomas Jefferson is preoccupied this morning with recording the temperature.
He writes that upon awaking at 6 AM, the temperature is a pleasant 68.0 degrees Fahrenheit, but that it is creeping up toward 70.
On his way to Congress, Jefferson purchases a thermometer. It costs three pounds and 15 shillings.
No-body knows why he is so concerned with the temperature today, especially, and for what reason he desires an accurate read.
At least 1,200 people died of heatstroke in France last Wednesday, mostly elderly people indoors.
Even crazier, about 70,000 Europeans die from the same every year, akin to a bi-weekly 9/11. Eurobros, please vote for leaders who will let you open your windows and install A/C!