Josh Perring

Thank god you're here. Listen to

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

I’m at the Espy in St Kilda. Guys are so courteous here with bathroom cubicle use. Everyone goes in with a mate to save time.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

Heading to my 10 year high school reunion this weekend. Excited to fill everyone in on my biggest achievement since I left, losing my virginity.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

Tickets to my debut solo show in Sydney and Melbourne are now on sale at https://t.co/BXZb99CtcI

There’s also an early bird special until Wednesday - so please just go ahead and book tickets after that! Hope to see you there!

Thanks to graphics wizard Zach Miller for the poster

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

Open mic mc taking you home to meet their parents.

“So this next parent, is a very good friend of mine, please meet, my mum”.

[Up Top Culture @UpTopCulture]

when you try pulling the hotel blanket from where it’s tucked

[Guerilla Comedy @Guerilla_Comedy]

Brrrr its Winter! Let’s us here at Guerilla warm you up with some burgers n beer and great laughs. Josh Perring heads a fantastic lineup this wed. Extra warm cosy room and we can’t wait to see you, Wed 7.30. @joshperring @PeterTheJones @AureliaStClair

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

Watched a scrawny teenage boy line up at Boost Juice and order a Gym Junkie smoothie. Pretty inspirational to see a guy on day one of his transformation journey.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

I’m now 26 which means if you’re successful and younger than 26, I hate you.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

@nicolefindlay Haha hoooo boy. Good luck, Nic!

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

This is on tonight if you’re in Melbourne. If you’re not, you have all day. Make an effort for once.

[CRAB LAB @crablabcomedy]

All this and some biiiig special guests!

[adam rozenbachs @arozenbachs]

Thought it was a bit harsh that BuzzFeed sacked their workers via a "11 People Who No Longer Work At Buzzfeed" list.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

My favourite part of the hottest 100 countdown is when they call an international artist to ask how they feel, and they could not care less.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

When writing a to do list I include stuff I've already done just so I can cross something off. I recommend it if you want to feel accomplished and can accept lying to yourself.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

@sfrancis88 Vv

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

@sfrancis88 All of them

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

I like watching an actor spend their entire career doing American accents and the second they win award it’s like “FANK YOU AND FANK ‘VYONE ‘HO ‘ELPED ME”

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

The key to cooking potato wedges at home is keeping them in the oven for about three days.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

For Christmas my grandmother gifted me a tin of dutch wafer biscuits… the same ones I gave her 4 years ago. That is confidence.

Or Alzheimer's.

[Josh Perring @joshperring]

Bad spelling on your resume can be helpful.

4 years experience as a Barista: “no thank you!”
4 years experience as a Barrister: “you’re hired!”