Jonathan Smith

TBH I'm like a low 7; 8 if you're drunk

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

RIP Abe Lincoln. You would have loved streaming services.

[Steven Prince @SPrinceComedy]

If I’m ever trapped in a submarine with a bunch of dudes, please don’t let the news outlets print “banging noises” heard.

#submarinemissing #titan #Titanic #TitanicRescue #titanicsubmersible #titanicsub

[🐢🐢🐢John Green🐢🐢🐢 @johngreen]

lay the table with the fancy shit

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

I haven't tweeted since 2019, but here I am back to tell @NoahKahan I'll do whatever it takes to get Dial Drunk on the setlist for @Hangoutfest this weekend.

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

My Love Language is back handed compliments in Instagram comments

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

I need a @juliensolomita look book video. I spend most of your videos trying to figure out where your shirts and hats come from.

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

@KeithHabs Echo is an aquarius, she loves being the center of attention and short walks from one side of the living room to the other and then immediately back. Season 3?

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

Do y’all think Beyoncé and Kelly share custody of Michelle? Or does Bey just slide a check under Kelly’s door once a month?

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

Any time I need a reminder of how white I am, I put on a Drake song and check how into it I get.

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

I just watched the full 2 hour Beyoncé Coachella performance everyone is talking about and now I’m tired.

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

rewatching #ThisMightGet and remembering that time I took a "selfie" with @gracehelbig @mametown and @harto

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

@Jenna_Marbles I need a video of you reacting to "send this to your crush without context" videos https://t.co/L0hvw2lick

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

@JohnPollySays @jonmallow Of course! Have you people talk to...well...just me because I'm not important enough to have "people" lol

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

My goal as a fellow Jon Polly is to film a John Polly Squared edition if Extra Lap Recap with @JohnPollySays

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

Why does no one ever talk about how Jack White looks like Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka?!

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

I JUST REALIZED HOW BAD I NEED A J+J'S KITCHEN COOKBOOK @JulienSolomita @Jenna_Marbles

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

@trixiemattel HOOOOOONEY https://t.co/KMA7NTpZBO

[Grace Helbig @gracehelbig]

Ah, geez. I tried (honestly TRIED) to recreate Trixie Mattel's signature look and the results were... https://t.co/W13LBLWGHU

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(203): you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

Imagine what would happen in sorority houses around the nation if Cardi B and Post Malone were ever to do a song together...

[Jonathan Smith @jpontheinternet]

I wonder how many times "MLK quotes that make good instagram captions" was Googled today