I’m so confident in my @cavs, if the @warriors win the 2018 NBA finals, I’ll buy anyone who retweets this a signed @StephenCurry30 gameworn jersey. Even you @RandallTime. @KingJames https://t.co/zsQp3LxGbu
Cop showing up at my friend's place this weekend: "Hey we just got a noise complaint if you could keep it down."
My friend: "No worries brother. We just shifted into a different gear and now it's all gravy"
Cop: "....what?"
(actual conversation)