Jason Morgan

remember the minab school

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

I fucking hate him.

[Bill Madden @maddenifico]

No heart, bronze makeup vs. Purple Heart, Bronze Medal.

[Jason Morgan @jrumor]

@Emxllouise0 hi

[ALvA  @__a1va]

@GAFollowers How I’m blocking negativity in 2023

https://t.co/k7FRzHN1O2

[Satan @s8n]

It’s nearly that time of the year I get Christmas lists from dyslexic kids again.

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

These teams are playing like they know whoever wins goes to the White House

[Aliens About Humans @HumansExplained]

Dry conifer corpses are piling up across the surface of Earth as the annual human ritual of tree torture and humiliation comes to an end. Eggs are next.

[Aliens About Humans @HumansExplained]

Humans is the only known semi-intelligent species that builds robots that try to behave like humans instead of being useful.

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

Most of the Secret Service’s job tonight is turning away ghosts trying to get into Trump’s bedroom

[Nairn Bookshop @nairnbookshop]

Congratulations to the author. Very clever. 😁

[Jess Dweck @TheDweck]

I’m no HR professional but it’s prob a bad sign when an employee writes an anonymous letter calling you a brain-dead asshole and you can’t even narrow it down to 100 people

[Tea Pain @TeaPainUSA]

Trump just introduced a border agent and proclaimed he "speaks perfect English." Sadly, the border agent couldn't return the compliment.

[Jesus H Christ! @ThatBloke_Jesus]

Just answering Prayers

No
No
Yes but only if I get to watch
OK
No that’s racist
No
Yes they’re in your jeans pocket
No
Ok will ask Melania to hide his pills
Nope
No Arsenal will suck all season
No
Nah she doesn’t go for fat blokes
Sure
8,13,22,23,39,40

[Andrew Hunter Murray @andrewhunterm]

Dear America. We have your president. If you do not send us $30,000,000, in unmarked bills, by 2000 hours BST on Friday, we will let him return to you.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

It’s #FridayThe13th and you know what that means: Nothing.

[Ken Jennings @KenJennings]

I’m all in favor of shaming Trump people in bookstores, but let’s be honest: how often is that going to come up? https://t.co/g6pAqxTYK5

[5elementknitr @5elementknitr]

If you are not wasting your day reading #secondcivilwarletters on Twitter, you are wasting your day.

[Barlow Adams @BarlowAdams]

I met Stephen King at a bar once. I told him, “You have given me so many nightmares.” He just walked away without saying anything.

Next day, I told my friend, who was there, “Stephen King is kind of a dick.” He said, “That wasn’t him and you really hurt that guy’s feelings.”

[The Hoarse Whisperer @TheRealHoarse]

Stayed off Twitter for the better part of the weekend.

Guys, this is crazy but there are all kinds of flowers and plants and stuff growing outside. It's wild.