Jason Salyers

Laugh at me and tell me I'm pretty.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

Don't be a #Covidiot

(last one, I swear.)

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

Who would've thought that Darius Rucker harbored so much resentment towards #rams.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

Antifungal medications (& people who don't like mushrooms) should be called eschrooms. #TipsyThoughts

[George Takei @GeorgeTakei]

As someone who experienced actual fascist policies in America and was sent to an internment camp solely because of my race, it is laughable to hear others cry fascism over common sense vaccine requirements.

I know fascism. I suffered under fascism. This isn’t fascism.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

#XboxShangChisweepstakes

[XBOX @XBOX]

The Xbox + Marvel Hero collab you've been waiting for.

Follow and retweet with #XboxShangChisweepstakes for a chance to win a custom Xbox Series X and controller inspired by @ShangChi and the Legend of Ten Rings.

Ends on 9/18/21 at 8pm PT: https://t.co/CgVPWB4jtM

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

I've just realized that I'm at a point in life where I judge potential matches by what they've named their children 🤣🤣🤣

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

@kosherhotdogz Horse Detective?

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

. @ACLU can you make some branded Hawaiian shirts so people don't assume that I'm a fascist?

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

. @GroovyBruce, you should help me design and sell some #HawaiiAntifa shirts

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

I can't wait for Alex Jones' Suess-esque book about Mr. Potato Head's massive dick.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

#ImTheGOATof being told to smile even though I'm wearing a mask. (Also, my drive-thru order was once withheld until I assured them that I wasn't depressed.) @FallonTonight

[Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders]

The business model of Wall Street is fraud.

[Susan Sarandon @SusanSarandon]

This👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

[Dr. Glenda Gilmore @GilmoreGlenda]

Josh,
Do you remember when you came to my Yale talk on the history of affirmative action? You disrupted it, aggressively held the floor during Q&A, wouldn't let anyone else ask a ?, & refused to sit down. When I said you were rude & had no right to muzzle the audience, you left.

[Daniel Uhlfelder @DWUhlfelderLaw]

Trump is getting warm welcome from the skies near Mar-a-lago today

[Kim Horcher @kimscorcher]

Racist Star Wars fans deeply disappoint me.

Racist Star Trek fans confuse the hell out of me.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

@SenTedCruz GO FUCK YOURSELF

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

6.8 miles below the sea is the Marianas Trench, and 6.8 miles below that is the bar Trump set for Biden.

[Jason Salyers @jsals]

@kosherhotdogz I've been fantasizing about this

[Ato Essandoh @AtoEssandoh]

29%? Who are you people?

[Hillary O'Connor Mueri @HillaryMueri]

🔥🔥🔥