JP

My life goal is to find a baby sloth on the ground and hand it back to its mom in a tree

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

why is native born unemployment going up when immigration crackdowns are happening? i thought you guys were going to take those jobs

[JP @jshow85]

@atrupar Lotta comments here that these are awful kettlebell swings—and they are—I’ve seen 60 year old women do them better.

But these are also very LIGHT kettlebells (guessing 25# tops) and so these men are also quite fucking weak.

[Rany Jazayerli @jazayerli]

Tom Brady in NFL Season 8: going for his 4th ring, loses in the Super Bowl

Patrick Mahomes in NFL Season 8: going for his 4th ring, loses in the Super Bowl

Tom Brady in Season 9: injures knee, team misses playoffs

Patrick Mahomes in Season 9: injures knee, team misses playoffs

[JP @jshow85]

@dieworkwear Imma say number 1 is some kinda boutique shit that’s like $7,000. Number four looks like J. Crew or something and probably rules for like $450

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Mike Johnson: ‘My Christian Faith Is More About Not Jacking Off Than Feeding The Poor’

[JP @jshow85]

“This fuckin never fucking works man”
😂😂

[Royals Review @royalsreview]

The NFL is very successful, so I wouldn't be surprised if MLB follows their lead and begins rigging things for the Royals to win every year since Kansas City is such an important market.

[JP @jshow85]

@_MLFootball Damn was that gonna be a 14-point touchdown!? Oh wait…

[rohit @krishnanrohit]

Ok Onion, that's really funny

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

enshittification | noun | when a digital platform is made worse for users, in order to increase profits

[JP @jshow85]

I keep this @marcrebillet song cued up for times like these. Been wanting to do this for so long. 🥹

[regina george @meanlore]

that prenup is about to be longer than any book travis kelce has ever read

[dre. @Sareeeism]

Hulk Hogan in hell right now:

[JP @jshow85]

@BradleyDowell So it was or was not you

[JP @jshow85]

@BradleyDowell @ryanscotthall P sure Epstein did this too

[JP @jshow85]

@realmsofmen666 Y no belly button tho?

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

ITS FLAT FUCK FRIDAY

ROLL THE CLIP

[JP @jshow85]

@BradleyDowell @ClayTravis Mickey Mouse ass mf, that guy

[JP @jshow85]

Spent a lot of time today trying to find this song. Figured it would be on a supermarket sweeps playlist but no dice. ⁦@BradleyDowell⁩

[JP @jshow85]

@BradleyDowell @kkhasissues Also all the dudes he mentioned *were* sloppy—there’s a reason you never saw them shirtless. Pat just dgaf because he knows he rules and it doesn’t matter