Jeff Simmons

[Dave Mays @MaveDays]

@ussoccer anyone have a marketing degree over there? New crest, new kit, new sales at a new tourney. Or, do we want the Men to debut them?

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

I need to re-assess the recent promotion of Dell, my cat, from Furry Roommate to Director of Apartment Security:

https://t.co/clGnF3DUNd

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

@jfoxjonescomedy (holds head with hands, shakes head...) What day is it? Oh, you're right, it is the morning...ugh.

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

@BushShtick Looking forward to the show Sunday! I'll also have a current utility bill so they'll be no doubt of my admission to the show.

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

Big ups to Open Door Comedy and @amnotkevinbacon AC Roe for the spot last night, I'm engaging my neurosis publicly, 300 seconds at a time...

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

"Annnnd nothing kills a 60 second lightning round than a drop off of hors douevers, stage right." Ha! Thank you.
#laughingbuddhacomedy

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

I'm bringing my nonsense humor back to the @GothamComedy Club on Monday 6/15! Come check it out...

[Jeff Simmons @jsimmscomedy]

Oh, hello Twitter world...I'm Jeffrey Simmons.
Come on now, stay awhile. Relax, slip on a pair of boat shoes and please...call me Jeff.