Uncle Frank

[Druthers Haver @6thgrade4ever]

referring to the non-boar's head stuff as "well turkey" at the deli

[diawlectical @diawlectical]

If you vote in a gymnasium they should let you hoop while you wait!!!

[soul nate @MNateShyamalan]

guy who has only been to ikea, walking into his second furniture store: can’t wait to eat the meatballs here

[Armand Domalewski @ArmandDoma]

I am 32 years old and still deeply terrified that consuming anything from the hotel room minibar will bankrupt my entire family somehow

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Inventor of moscow mule: I'll have another vodka and ginger beer please.

Bartender: *sighing* do you need it in your-

Inventor of moscow mule: If you don't put it in my big shiny cup I am going to send you to god

[Uncle Frank @jsmitphl]

@GoodmanHoops Jeff, will @clubtrillion receive a finder’s fee if and when Stevens takes the Indiana job?

[@aeppel.bsky.social @TimAeppel]

Neiman Marcus sells a couch that looks like a hot dog for $7,100. What a time to be alive.

[Ryan @rysimmons]

got another capitalism greatest hit. i will give you one hundred thousand dollars if you can guess the brand by the end

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Man Searching For Part Of Chicken Tender Thin Enough To Fit Into Plastic Dipping Sauce Cup https://t.co/nhLwjGxsBG

[Uncle Frank @jsmitphl]

This is the worst series finale ever, narrowly edging out Dexter

[Dan McQuade @dhm]

I like that Philadelphia has a tribute to a young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

@edsbs no fast food chain has ever produced an item that fits its price more exactly than the Hot N Ready. It is exactly 500 cents worth of pizza.

[Macy Hollenkamp @mhkamp]

As requested:
2017 Kindergarten Thanksgiving Cookbook

enjoy