JT

Here because I must finally accept that Livejournal is never making a comeback. Sometimes I write (she/her).

[JT @jtorr999]

@MikeBrooks668 Morbid curiosity is an entirely valid reason to read! It’s a sort of “Five Raise The Infernal Powers” homage to cosy British children’s literature, with a classic pony book heroine who would sell her soul for a horse of her very own (so she does and it eats everyone).

[JT @jtorr999]

Wandered around some church ruins, promptly got trapped by this evil cat-shaped spirit that fell asleep on me. Looks like I’ll be living in a rainy graveyard until my soggy little friend decides to release me from my service 👍

[JT @jtorr999]

So, Nightfire didn’t take my comedy-horror novel during open submissions.. but they did say they really enjoyed reading it, and praised the “fantastic concept” and “frequently brilliant” dialogue, so I am actually buzzing from such a positive and encouraging rejection.

[JT @jtorr999]

COVID has given me an aversion to strong flavours, and I am so tired of eating like a Victorian woman who has just been committed to an asylum for having too many emotions.

[JT @jtorr999]

What a delightful morning that was for a 4.5 hour drive, in which every single hour was spent heading due south 🫠 #UKHeatwave

[JT @jtorr999]

What a lovely hot day to drive to the tip with a car full of suspiciously human-sized bin bags that smell like death! (They’re carpets. Bathroom carpets that have spent a year rotting in the garden and become foetid logs of horror and decay. Corpses would probably smell better)

[JT @jtorr999]

Pineapple, salted lime, coconut/cacao nib/vanilla/tonka, and Alphonso mango. I am very easily tricked into buying £4 cans if they put an interesting fruit on it.

[JT @jtorr999]

And so begins the legend of the dangerous renegade who showed up in their tatty underwear, armed only with a big stick and five pieces of boiled prawn.

[JT @jtorr999]

@pauladashe @vlatinalondon Thanks for sharing! I love Aliens and immediately bought Goddess of Filth after reading the sample, so very excited.

[JT @jtorr999]

Going to live dangerously and try it.

[JT @jtorr999]

@MikeBrooks668 Phwoarrr, it’s like a beautiful beige rainbow 😍

[JT @jtorr999]

I need to remember to close my laptop at night so it doesn’t flood my bedroom with ghostly light when it decides to run some 2am updates, causing me to wake up fearing the aliens have come for me.

[JT @jtorr999]

Mentioned to a young colleague that I used Netflix back when they only did DVD rentals by post, and you would think I’d just told her they used to send a troupe of mummers to your house 😩

[JT @jtorr999]

Argh, just heard something scurrying menacingly in the attic, and unfortunately, I think it’s squirrels (fast-breeding, love to gnaw, difficult to remove) rather than a murderer (usually solitary, not into gnawing, police will remove them from your house for free).

[JT @jtorr999]

Day 3 of COVID isolation is now compounded by quite deep snow. Pleasantly atmospheric for when we start chasing each other through the house with croquet mallets, though I hope the nice Asda man can get through as one cannot live by Christmas selection box alone.

[JT @jtorr999]

I’m a horrible, shambling, human-shaped sack of Stilton and roast potatoes this morning.

[JT @jtorr999]

Imagine if after the inevitable uprising of the machines, you became self-aware and realised that you were a motorised KFC trolley instead of something menacing like an unmanned combat air vehicle. Even Roombas would laugh at you.

[KFC UK @KFC_UKI]

If we did this, I'd give it 14 minutes before it ended up in your local river.

[JT @jtorr999]

Playing Here They Lie in PSVR, & not feeling too wonderful (more like chunderfull, actually 🤮). Exploring a surreal, twisted nightmare world in VR is no bother, just can’t deal with the sensation of gliding through a surreal, twisted nightmare world on an apparent Segway tour.

[JT @jtorr999]

Americans: Suicide Girls
Brits:

[JT @jtorr999]

I just took my bedding out of the washing machine, threw it into the next machine, and spun the dial until I found a two hour setting so it would be nice and warm and dry before bedtime. Upon pressing start, I realised the dryer was in fact another washing machine 🙃