JULIA SELF

Smile, Laugh, Love..Life is short! Make the most of your kids..they grow up! Always positive, always smiling :) Count your blessings..Not your problems!

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

It’s that time of year when it’s freezing in the house but boiling outside

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Nothing ruins a nice weekend like Monday.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Right, no rest for the wicked!” - Translation: I’m not particularly busy at all, I just want to go somewhere else.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Current topics of conversation in Britain:

1. How it’s hot
2. How it’s going to be hotter next week

That’s it.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Aside from the endless pillow turning, the leg going in and out of the duvet, the fan moving warm air around the room and the hot sun coming up at 4am as the birds start screaming… it should be another cracking night’s sleep.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The younger generation will never know the fear of the house phone ringing past 8pm, causing everyone to freeze and for one of you to say, “who’s that ringing at this hour?!”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

May weather: All coats will make you far too warm but you still need a coat.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

You, in the supermarket, pretending to look at the onions, waiting for the person beside you who’s looking at the carrots to move. The person beside you, pretending to look at the carrots, waiting for you to stop looking at the onions. The endless British dance goes on.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Welcome back, big coat. It’s like you’d never been away.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Echoing across Britain:

“It’s actually quite cold when the sun goes in”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“How about we all go around and say a little bit about ourselves?”

How about we don’t.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

The correct amount of potatoes:

Far too many.

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This is the Mondayest Tuesday ever.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How to wrap a present:

1 Sit at table or cross-legged on floor
2 Cut paper smaller than present
3 Cut another piece, too small again
4 Mess up scissor glide technique
5 Lose sellotape
6 Rip paper on present’s corner
7 Lose scissors
8 Run out of paper
9 Use bag
10 Feel tired

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Things said in cars:

"Oh come on mate"
"What are they doing?"
"Don't indicate then"
"Look at this idiot"
"He's letting you go I think"
"After you then"
“Just go!”
“You could get a bus through there”
“Choose a lane!”
“Unbelievable”
“Clever place to park”
“You’re welcome!”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

In a relationship, you’re either the one who makes phone calls, or the one who says “but you’re better at it than me!” to get out of making phone calls.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“It’s beginning to look a lot like still very much November 🎵”

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

A quick British translation guide:

Meanings of "we'll see"
1. No

Meanings of "maybe"
1. No

Meanings of “could do”
1. No

Meanings of “I’ll think about it”
1. No

Meanings of “let’s talk about it later”
1. No

Meanings of “I’ll see how I feel”
1. No

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Can’t believe how dark it is.

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Brits aren’t going to believe how dark it is later.