Julia Oshrin

she/her

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

A man leaving the bathroom I was
entering said "just so you know the
person before me destroyed the toilet-
like all over the seat".

I've never been more confident that it
was not the person before him.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Happy night before Thanksgiving to everyone who peaked in high school; tonight is your night.

[Rachel Oshrin @RachelOshrin]

White Lotus season 3 location just dropped.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Do people actually know how to read or is everyone else just pretending too?

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

I turn off my lights when I leave my apartment, but not for environmental reasons. I just can't reach the light bulbs to change them, so these bulbs need to last through my 12 month lease.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Did work in a coffee shop for the first
time since March 2020 and forgot how
much I love it. For example, today I sat
next to a couple as a guy admitted to
his longterm girlfriend he doesn't want kids.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Y'all consider this boiling a calf in its mother's milk?

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

They would only get 4 free covid tests

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

I'm very torn about the worldwide book exchange.
On one hand I don't know how to read, but on the other hand I love a good pyramid scheme.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

You want me to eat honey?? The thing that nearly killed Donna Sheridan!?

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

You pull to the side of the road when an ambulance drives by, I pull to the side of the road when a Domino's delivery car drives by. We are not the same.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Today my co-workers showed everyone pictures of their kids and I showed everyone pictures of @mindykaling

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

You had to be there

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Has anyone checked in on the celebrities that did not receive the Cravings box from Chrissy Teigen?

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Is it shomer shabbos to use my space laser today?

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Let's all be grateful this didn't happen in 2010, or we would be watching the Glee cast sing Party in the USA as a ballad.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

What our country needs right now is the explicit version of this banger. Thank you in advance @ddlovato

[Demi Lovato @ddlovato]

THIS IS WHY I POST AS MUCH AS I DO. THIS IS WHY I CARE. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN ANY FUCKING MORE. I’m angry, embarrassed and ashamed.

I’m in the studio working on something special after today’s assault on democracy.

#impeachtrumptonight

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

@schlife I am very confident he has been listening to "Any Minute" from 13 for the past 24 hours

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Becoming Minority Leader Mitch McConnell must be really hard for him, seeing as he actively hates all minorities.

[Julia Oshrin @juliaoshrin]

Like a froggy, ferny cabbage bro.

[kayleigh ‎ @betelgeusebway]

quote a broadway lyric but add “bro” at the end of it