Juliet Tierney

is Star Wars the one with the little wizard boy?

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Sorry but where’s the energy government had for fugging NAPSTER when it comes to AI???

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

In the last year I’ve become a person who lets their phone die. I leave the house at 18%. I get on a plane at 42%. I carry a charger in my hand. What’s become of me?

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Having AA adages one notes app swipe away from an Aspire Botox discount code is probably more common in 2026 than I want to believe.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

If I see the phrase “success metric” one more time….

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

“Yah well I have one thousand cds” - my husband bragging in the year of our lord 2025

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

The strongest skill set that I have is writing very funny and engaging texts and teams messages. It’s really such a shame that’s not a career.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

I personally believe every single marketer that is responsible for marketing to the United States gen pop should be required to DRIVE (not fly, drive) through a minimum of 10 states before they produce a single piece of strategic work.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

How we used to talk about New England winters being “brutal,” we must now shift to talking about New England SUMMERS being brutal.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Muting the group chat is not enough. I need to be excommunicated.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

It’s 12:24 in New York City and I’m sitting in a hotel lobby waiting for my husband and a man just greeted the front desk guy with an enthusiastic, “good morning!!”

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

It is the great tragedy of my lifetime how desperately I need my job because it is my most generous comedic muse.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Sometimes when I’m silently sobbing on the Amtrak I wonder how the person sitting next to me feels. Like do they wish they could move? Cuz same, bro. I wish I could move away from MYSELF.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Every city needs a bridge!

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

This is all I have to say to the Taylor Swift critics:

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

Why do we call them ads and not ‘mercials’? Pronounced “mer-shuls.”

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

My new favorite insult is “I bet you support the TikTok ban.”

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

In my personal opinion, the real key to happiness is growing out your hair and getting invisilign. But maybe that’s just me.

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

I love nothing more than when people gatekeep MUSIC. like o rly? ur the only 1 who likes music? how unique!

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

@FreePeople ur customer service is an utter joke?? My order has been lost in transit since Nov 22, u cancelled an item that is now BACK IN STOCK, & i have reached out to customer service 3 times w only 1 response that said “we’re processing a request to respond to your inquiry??”

[Juliet Tierney @jultierney]

If you don’t say “that’s me!!!” when you catch yourself in the background of any pic, we can’t be friends.