Mi cuerpo dice “no sé si Argentina saldrá campeón de nuevo” pero mi alma dice “estoy totalmente lista para ponerme recontra en pedo al mediodía, caminar 400 cuadras al rayo del sol y agarrarme Covid de nuevo prendiendo fuego un McDonalds ❤️”
🚨🎙️ ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIĆ ON LIONEL MESSI'S INFLUENCE ON ARGENTINA AFTER THEIR WIN OVER AUSTRIA:
“I'm obsessed with watching Messi.
Not because he's my friend.
Not because of nostalgia.
Because after all these years, I'm still trying to understand how one player can control a football match without touching the ball every minute.
I watched Argentina today and the first thing I noticed wasn't the scoreline.
It was the way Austria reacted whenever Messi moved.
One step to the left, defenders follow.
One drop into midfield, the entire shape changes.
One glance over his shoulder panic.
That's not football.
That's psychological warfare.
And that's why I laugh when people reduce him to goals and assists.
They don't understand what they're watching.
Messi isn't just Argentina's best player.
He's Argentina's system.
He's their confidence.
He's their belief.
He's the reason every teammate walks onto the pitch thinking the impossible is possible.
People ask me about the GOAT debate.
What debate?
Seriously.
What debate?
For me, there isn't one.
The debate exists because television needs content and social media needs arguments.
When I watch football, I don't see a debate.
I see Messi.
Then I see everybody else.
That doesn't mean other legends weren't incredible.
It means I've never seen another player influence a match, a team and an entire generation of football the way Messi has.
And today was another reminder.
He didn't need a hat-trick.
He didn't need to score from 40 yards.
He just needed to be Lionel Messi.
And suddenly Argentina looked like a completely different team.
That's greatness.
Not when everything depends on you.
When everybody becomes better because you're there.
I've played against great players.
I've played with great players.
But Messi is the only player I've ever watched and genuinely thought:
'This isn't normal.'
The scary thing?
Opponents know exactly what he's going to do.
And they still can't stop it.
That's why I don't waste my time with comparisons anymore.
Some players become legends.
Some players become icons.
Messi became a category of his own.
And after today's performance, if you're still asking me who the greatest footballer of all time is...
You're asking the wrong question.
The right question is:
Will football ever produce another one like him?”
[me, fat and stoned on the couch, covered in Cheetos dust and sweat, pressing play on my fourth Tubi movie of the day] I'm just like Charli baby, brat summerrrrrr
Vengo del futuro: todas las películas están dobladas. En las salas se permiten celulares, música y tragos. Dejó de llamarse cine, ahora es una «experiencia multisensorial con películas de fondo».
Dios mirá lo elaboradas que eran las publicidades antes ahora nos tenemos que conformar con la de me di cuenta que tenía hemorroides porque sentía como un latido en el ano