My man just FaceTimed me drunk as hell eating a slice of pizza while walking down the street and he goes YOU WANNA KNOW HOW PERFECT YOU ARE? LOOK AT THIS PIZZA... FOR YOU, I’LL DROP THIS PIZZA. IT’S GONE! and just threw the damn pizza into the street
Me in Massachusetts: mass is wicked boring
Me anywhere else: Mass is the BEST state ever. The pilgrims landed here for a REASON. Dunkin' Donuts courses through my veins. Pahk the cah in Hahvahd yahd. I was literally born at Fenway park . The green monster Is my dad https://t.co/Sf4vRg5bil