Justin Cappa

TV writer (Strahan, Sara & Keke on ABC, formerly @fallontonight on NBC, some other stuff). Opinions are my own, especially the really good ones.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

Nobody:

The egg in egg drop soup:

[urvans @urvans_]

anya taylor-joy as alia atreides in dune part 3

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

@gavinpurcell @Bernstein Through parliamentary procedure!

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

I’m shocked at the disgusting things Trump has tweeted after Rob Reiner and now Mueller have died, because now he can’t use them for Biden.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

Back in the day, they called me the Jack Ruby of interns (tried to help, ended up making things worse, wore a fedora).

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

@EbonyBill I used to think it was peach tree dish

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

More like Not-So-Strait of Hormuz.

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

BREAKING: Trump reportedly briefed that Iran’s new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei is probably gay.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

I still can’t believe the Ayatollah died not knowing Zendaya and Tom Holland were married.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

BREAKING: The Iranian regime has chosen a new Jim Carrey.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

This is how I know it’s real

[TMZ @TMZ]

Iran's Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei Dead After U.S. & IDF Strike, Per Reports https://t.co/x0stjuxv19

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

First, Trump went after the Supreme Court. Then, the Supreme Leader. I know where this is headed and we need to protect Diana Ross.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

If they wanted nobody to see them, they should have released the Epstein files in the Melania movie.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

So, it’s not just his computers that have bad virus protection.

[New York Post @nypost]

Epstein claimed Bill Gates caught STD from ‘sex with Russian girls’ in latest files released by DOJ https://t.co/hdaJbr3239

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

Choosing to do this in The Wall Street Journal still feels a little antisemitic.

[Complex Music @ComplexMusic]

Ye (fka Kanye West) has issued a formal apology in The Wall Street Journal

“I am not a Nazi or an antisemite. I love Jewish people”

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

Golden Globe winners always look like they’re asking if you need more freshly ground pepper.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

I keep confusing DMT and DMV because they both make 10 minutes feel like a lifetime.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

Trump just wants an island that’s bigger than Epstein’s.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

“You like and subscribe! You really like and subscribe!”

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

The Oscars will stream exclusively on YouTube, starting in 2029.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

The dentist office in Epstein’s mansion is the one place we know Prince Andrew didn’t visit.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

At my friend’s apartment, doing parallel play.

[Justin Cappa @justincappa]

What I saw / what I thought