the mandatory sex change surgeries begin TONIGHT. all republican voters, please report to your local abortion clinic voluntarily or a bisexual MS-13 member will be sent to your home. somehow, pansexual orgies and shariah law are simultaneously in effect as of this moment
Celtics all star Paul George ahead of tonight’s game against Chicago:
“I can’t wait for the game to end so I can go over to the 99 restaurant in Charlestown… If you ask nicely they’ll give you the pub cheese and crackers”