justin

happiness real when shared

[Mop Penguin @MopPenguin]

bro last night was a folk tale orally passed on through generations

[pucko @pussy_liquor_]

I have a salt lick installed in my room And I stand on all fours and go to town. Until I hear a twig snap 👀 who’s there

[Benjamin Fogel @BenjaminFogel]

Should protestants be allowed to enjoy the Mediterranean?

[Olivia 🫒 @coolerbred]

If only there was like, a smaller human that could do this kind of job for 12 hours a day

[machine yearning eng in SF 8/4-8/28 @confusionm8trix]

cell phone… self own… they have played us for absolute fools

[carl 🥦 @NightlifeMingus]

Some sandwiches are so good they’ll have you fantasizing about the second half while you’re eating the first

[Adam, Anthropocene Megafauna @AnthropoceneMe1]

Here’s a quick test to tell if you have a “real” or “bullshit” job: chug down an entire gallon of milk in front of your coworkers.

If they start clapping, it’s a real job. If they become visible agitated, upset - you’ve got a bullshit job.

[cie @hsmiltn]

no movie is foreign to me because i walk this earth considering every human a brother

[📸 @THINGEO]

Remember this fella 😂😂

[Iggmeister @iggidigit]

I used to scoff at consumerism like a cool gen x misanthrope. Then I discovered overpriced scandinavian clothes that make you look like a retired soviet chess player

[Errai @errai]

Showing my barber an infrared photo of him sleeping in his bed

[very tall bart @TallBart]

Therapist: Are we being deadass?

Me: No

Therapist: Let's be deadass going forward

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 35 times a day, create deliverables for key stakeholders, and circle back offline.

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

Hey this is my homie who makes sure the dentist doesn’t touch me gay style when I’m knocked out by the gas and my other homie who watches him for the same reason

[miles @milesdotgov]

Climbed the 10,000 steps of enlightenment to the monastery, so as to ask the wise master a question about the functioning of the universe, and he told me “focus on yourself lil bro” and then counted out fifteen racks in front of me

[birds' hell @saturnalreturn]

The British prime minister is replaced 24 times per second, creating the illusion of a smoothly flowing image

[weird medieval guys @WeirdMedieval]

idk why but i find it so funny that the euro banknotes featured FICTIONAL bridges so as to not cause conflict between member states but then a dutch town decided to just build all of the bridges to claim them??!?

[Gwdihŵ 🦉 @youwouldknow]

Ryanair when it’s time to disembark the plane https://t.co/T4uRTp96qJ

[nacho @nachoeveryday]

This shit is electric