krissykat

men find me very approachable because my eyes are large and my hair is like beautiful spaghetti

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

my twitter activity is inversely proportional to my mental health

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

TAKING AN ANXIETY TEST IS EASILY THE MOST ANXIETY-INDUCING ACTIVITY I HAVE EVER PARTICIPATED IN, THANKS THERAPY

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

fuck this whole fucking state

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

oh no i literally just had the thought “I should call my cat” send help this is it I’ve gone off the deep end

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

mom can you come pick me up? I just enthusiastically said hello back to a woman who I didn’t realize was on the phone

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

@SarWeingarten Pretty sure one of those girls was literally one of my sorority sisters

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

okay but who let that Tubi commercial where it scrolls up the guy’s never-ending abdomen air on cable television

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

sorry I’m busy hanging with a stray cat after I got off work

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

@dErEk_DiLLiNGeR Just Ric Flair and his cart full of honeydew, kickin ass and makin fruit salad

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

no, i didn’t go to the gym today

but I DID take my weighted blanket to the laundromat, which was WAY WORSE

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

choose your fighter

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

honestly are the @CleHotDogs hiring, because I feel like that might be my dream job

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

I think the only think I love more than writing jokes about church camp is writing jokes that will only land at church camp

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

@420b00bs every time I’m even slightly emotional about how small the cleveland world is I’m like “what if I just moved back to new york”

[Funny Bus Cleveland @FunnyBusCLE]

Come and join us for fun and games on the Funny Bus. New tour just added on Friday, July 21 at 4:30 featuring comedian Kristen Hoffman! #clevelandtours #thisiscleveland #thingstodoincleveland #cle #happyhour #clevelandnightlife #ClevelandComedy

[Cleveland Comedy Network & Festival @CLEcomedyfest]

Join us THIS Friday June 30th for some late night laughs at All Saints Public House in Cleveland!
The return of our monthly show, #NotAllSaints Comedy Hour! Comics perform standup then share a story of a time they were much less than Saintly!

🎟️ just $10
https://t.co/eY9BKOgudu

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

watching Brittney Griner return to the WNBA has me crying alone at the airport bar

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

this is unhinged

[Sam Hoadley-Brill @deonteleologist]

Republicans in Ohio have introduced a bill that would require state colleges and universities to guarantee that they will refrain from endorsing, opposing, or commenting on "any controversial belief or policy" including the idea that climate change exists https://t.co/TCtMT4Edc0

[Funny Bus Cleveland @FunnyBusCLE]

Join @wmms's @alancoxshow on the Funny Bus Wednesday at 7 pm. Your ticket purchase also gets you two free drinks @CollisionBrew!

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

@ChiefSteef should’ve done my research

[krissykat @k_hoff_]

can’t wait to see him on dancing with the stars

[Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets]

🚨🚨🚨BREAKING: Tucker Carlson has left Fox News, effective immediately.