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BREAKING: In a stunning moment, Fox News just broke the news that Donald Trump's efforts to strike down birthright citizenship have failed. It's amazing to watch Fox proclaim Trump a loser.
Some days I am a...
Girl wearing daisy dukes: "TaKe A pIcTuRe, It'Ll LaSt LoNgEr!!"
Other days I'm...
President Nixon: "...there will be no picture. you've taken your picture."
Lunch so good you poop a ton and sweat so profusely you consider sending out that text to your family. You know the one. The Ebola text, reminding everyone I loved them but I'm definitely dying today.
Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?
Me: I think I need police...and maybe an ambulance
D:
Me: my boyfriend gave me a birthday card and
D: happy birthday
Me: thanks but the card had glitter on it and now the glitter is on my fingers
D: police are on their way