Kalee

[Kalee @kaleekavanaugh]

Who's the snake that gave their pastor my number

[Dirty Dan @daniellemaria99]

my first crush was Johnny Knoxville and I think that explains a lot about why I am the way I am

[Joanne Gannon @joanne_gannon]

I was standing in the line at McDonald's yesterday and just as I got to the counter my boyfriend kissed me and then loudly said 'you are the best sister ever' and walked away and the girl in McDonald's looked at me in disgust and I've never wanted to die so much in my life

[Sage Against The Machine @Still_Lee_]

Is she supposed to leave her ass at home? Wear her go to work ass?

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

Guy in the pink deserves an Academy Award tonight for this performance https://t.co/iTEaC0iJCH

[adam @brokeangeI]

no one:

7 year old me: i’m not that hungry i had a polly pocket dress around eleven fifteen

[diante :) @cumrascal]

how would you feel about no one knowing you were a pussycat doll until reading your bio

[Tana Mongeau @tanamongeau]

prayers for Pete Davidson. not cause it’s a Twitter trend. not cause you do or don’t “stan” him. because he’s a human with a heart who’s hurting and has to do it in front of millions of people- which can truly be the loneliest place. you’re valued Pete. we want you here.

[Liban @LibanLDN]

White people have no culture? Explain this then

[Peyton @delome10]

Girls be crying over a dude who reads at a 3rd grade reading level. He’s not ignoring your text, he’s sounding it out. Give him a second.

[chu @chuuzus]

“Never underestimate a man's ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes” - Rihanna 2012.

[Bailey Lien @baileylien]

My 5 step plan to a life of success:

1. Graduate from school
2. ??
3. ????
4. ?????????
5. Retire to my cabin in the mountains of Vermont with my dog

[$helby $weetheart @ShelbsDobbs]

Cardi B did an interview about offset cheating and said “I’m not even worried about it, he’s gonna go from this to what?? What’s better then me??” And that energy is wtf I’m talking about

[chu @chuuzus]

not at Offset saying “y’all won” like we sent him to cheat on Cardi every week 💀

[Ryan Chamberlain @Ryan_Chamber]

I bet that half these girls reposting this rhino video have a Canada goose jacket sitting in their closet right now.