Jeff Kasselis

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@AtelierMissor_ Félicitations!!!

[OkieMaga_Patriot46 @Okie_Patriot46]

I need to make a very PUBLIC announcement on behalf of younger GenXers and older Millennials.

If you see someone in their 40s or 50s who seems a little boring now, I need you to understand something...

We already got it in.

Like...GOT. IT. IN.

We are not sitting home on a Friday night because we never knew how to have fun.
We are sitting home on a Friday night because we have seen enough.

We went to parties in houses that should have been condemned and were almost certainly owned by the local drug dealer.

We saw police lights and RAN and not across a nice, flat field.
INTO THE WOODS.

Do you understand the athleticism required to hurdle uprooted tree roots in platform shoes while simultaneously trying to keep your low-rise jeans from sliding completely off your ass?

And somehow...we never spilled the Zima. We never spilled the Boone’s Farm.

That was TALENT.

We slept on floors in strange houses because the designated driver either never showed up or, in a shocking turn of events, was drunker than everybody else.

There was no Uber, Life360 or Find My Friends.
There was just somebody named Mike saying, “I know a shortcut.”

And we FOLLOWED MIKE.

We closed down bars and then decided the night was still young, so we drove to Atlantic City, where we somehow managed to get drunk, sober up, get drunk again, sober up again and then get drunk a THIRD TIME before breakfast.

And according to our parents? We were at Michelle’s house.

Eating pizza and watching movies.

Michelle’s mother unknowingly covered for approximately 17 people every weekend. If there even was a Michelle.

We drank things called Purple Passion, Mad Dog 20/20 and whatever somebody mixed inside a giant plastic garbage can. Nobody asked what was in it. You grabbed a red Solo cup and trusted the process.

We went to clubs until the lights came on. Do you know the psychological damage of seeing a nightclub with the LIGHTS ON? Nothing good happens after those lights come on.

We danced for four straight hours in shoes that permanently altered the structure of our feet.

We made entire plans without cell phones...no texts, dropped pins or group chats...just an extremely questionable sense of direction.

We rode in cars with 11 people when the vehicle legally seated five. Someone was always sitting on someone. Someone was always in the hatchback.
And there was always one friend yelling, “DUCK!” when we passed a cop.

So yes...now we like being home.
We like sweatpants.
We like cancelling plans.
We like saying, “That sounds fun!” with absolutely no intention of attending.
We like restaurants at 5:30 because we can get a good table.
We like being home by 8:17.

And if someone texts at 9:30 PM and says, “What are you doing?”
Sleeping...we are sleeping.

Because this is not boring my friends...this is retirement.

We already played, partied and danced on the bar.
We already ran from the cops through a wooded area dressed like a Spice Girl.

We have stories that cannot be posted because there are still people with careers, marriages and reputations to protect. And thank GOD there were no camera phones.

So kids, when you look at your Gen X and older Millennial parents sitting peacefully on the couch watching Dateline at 8 PM and think:
“God, you guys are boring.”

Sweetheart...oh sweetheart.
You are looking at retired legends.

Put some respect on our names. We're probably the reason Life360 was invented.

xoxoxo (posted from someone else on FakeBook) 🤣 #genx #oldandtired

[Doge Tipping @Dogetothemoon]

This is why I love Elon Musk!

Elon Musk just flips the interview and tells the legacy media that they are the ones people actually hate.

"Elon Musk: Perhaps some people do loathe me. That is probably true. I do not care. But as you pointed out, a quarter of a billion people follow me. I think far more people like me than dislike me.

I also think far more people hate you and the media than you realize. Do you realize how despised the media is? The favorable view of journalists is around 15 percent.

Interviewer: Yes, I know there is a loss of trust in journalism in the United States. There have been mistakes by journalists and by journalism, and I fully acknowledge that. But I also think the polarized environment, particularly on social media, which is fostered by the kind of things you promote on X, makes it worse.

Elon Musk: I do not think so. I think the media is the problem. People loathe you far more than they loathe me, and you do not seem to realize it.

Interviewer: Very few people know who I am compared with you, so I do not think we are playing the same game.

Elon Musk: The media collectively is hated. Do you even realize that?"

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@hthieblot Oh https://t.co/AUWhXB1Ox1 without hesitation. ‘Twas brutal

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

Just picked up my copy @GadSaad 🤓

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@EmmanuelMacron dis donc elles brillent depuis bientôt 24 heures tes étoiles!!! 🤡

[THIERRY D "ardéchois et français" @ThierryTout]

BIARRITZ EN SEPTEMBRE 1928 🇫🇷
Une journée à la plage.
Une autre époque, une autre France...🧐

[Brian Roemmele @BrianRoemmele]

It is sometimes difficult to put into words what genius is.

But you do feel it when you experience it.

This is Jacob Collier as he improvises with an orchestra performing with the world's first Audience Symphony Orchestra in San Francisco, a gathering of fans from all over North America, conducted by Suzie Collier. In the middle of the show, this happened - no rehearsal, no sheet music, no prior discussion.

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Fully shut donw your pc

[Today Years Old @todayyearsold]

I was definitely today years old when I learned this

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@PierrePoilievre There’d be nothing wrong with inspiring yourself from “no tax on tips and overtime” they’re trying to introduce down in the states.

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@elonmusk @petrogustavo Comeback of the year 😂

[Vlad @VladTheInflator]

Me walking into 2026

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@ChevroletCanada why do you want to charge me $15 a month to see if my car is charging or to remotely condition it?

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@financedystop Trust and price

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@KettlebellDan Fantastic idea. “Make Grok my default browser”. ❤️

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@adalluch i thought you ladies preferred hanging out with bears in the woods?

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@jpdisclosure Heartbreaking. Stay strong. ❤️

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

Liberal Goes Back In Time To Kill Hitler

[Jeff Kasselis @kasselis]

@Asmongold Heartfelt condoléances 💐