kas

rank 1 btw

[kas @kasweaverr]

@ExiledAng3L back to TLP with you buddy

[Alex @midsmoker34]

This summer really was a love letter to the genre. Feel free to repost this. I just made it up

[Alex @midsmoker34]

I woke up feeling like I need to slime something. I need to catch a Rico charge. I wanna put my life in a lawyers hands

[nick v @falco]

some gaming moments

[nick v @falco]

.@Razer pumped on my new viper v4!!! any reason you guys decided to throw it in the ocean before shipping it? Just curious!!

[kas @kasweaverr]

trying to act cool and mysterious at barnes and noble while i sip on my strawberry acai lemonade and eat my salted caramel cookie

[harrison gordon is a band @harrisongordo13]

Last night jake tried to do a bit on stage where he “exposed” my home address but make up a fake on the spot. Unfortunately he failed and told 1500 people my actual home address

[Katja (mercurial)🇨🇭 @coldgorlfever]

Just saw a guy and a girl kissing outside the bar and as he walked back to his bicycle she goes, “you promise you’ll break up with her today? You better.” Summer is SO BACK!!!!

[kas @kasweaverr]

clavicular is literally on his way to the himalayas to kill the last whooping crane in existence to bring on a 4000 year famine and you’re asking me if i cheated lol ok

[Guilherme Nunes @guilhernunes_]

A penguin that travels the world working as a clown.

[Perisov @spkrts]

Embiid on Friday at 7:00 at the Wells Fargo Center

[Joshua Bright @DaPriceIsBright]

All Pittsburgh fans have are insults about the cup, meanwhile the penguins at the Philadelphia zoo are in immediate danger.

[John Kruk @JohnKruk]

Yesss see below!

The Deal: $10–$15 off per ticket
Link: https://t.co/Ka0ERChwl7
Code: TESTA

Eligible Games:
April 19, 28, 30
May 5, 7, 19

Must buy online by May 12.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Now that Obama’s poll numbers are in tailspin – watch for him to launch a strike in Libya or Iran. He is desperate.

[Ben Shapiro @benshapiro]

Perhaps "poop" or "rape" could have been the Time persons of the year. Because they already sort of are.

[Future Moldovan Citizen Fan @CommonSentiment]

Took my (frigid) wife to see Wuthering Heights tonight. Car ride to the theater she put on the Hamilton soundtrack and scrolled through Pinterest the entire time ignoring me. I think I chipped a tooth from clenching my teeth.
Walk into the theater lobby and it’s a sea of screaming black teenagers and obese guatemalan women babbling into speakerphone. I buy her some garbage to eat and we go into the theater. Before we sit down she accidentally (?) spills her extra large diet Dr. Pepper on my seat, but the theater is full so I just sit in it. My ass is immediately soaked but I don’t care I just don’t want to move my body anymore I just don’t want my body to function.
The guatemalan women are in the theater and they and my wife are all staring at their phones, giving the room a sickly, ambient glow that makes my eyes water and my stomach turn.
The movie starts and I mentally check out, thinking of the chubby teenage girl at the concession counter and how thrilling it would be to kidnap her. I let my mind drift away but my wife snaps me out of this fantasy by hacking loudly trying to get a stuck popcorn kernel out of her throat. The guatemalan women sense distress and start nervously gibbering in their gutterspeak. I excuse myself to the bathroom but instead sneak into some kind of cartoon called Goat.
I sit in the back and sob softly until a black teenager notices me and screams “ayo dis gay nigga crine!” and the rest of them start jeering and screaming at me so I rush out. I lock eyes with the chubby teenage girl in the lobby and she looks sad and I imagine she’d be okay with me kidnapping her but I just go back and sit next to my wife in the giant puddle of diet Dr. Pepper.
The movie finishes. We leave. Wife immediately puts Hamilton soundtrack back on and scrolls Pinterest. We won’t be discussing the film.
No, we won’t be discussing anything.
Am I Heathcliff?
Am I myself?
Am I a person?
Am I sure I can keep doing this for one second longer?
Tomorrow is Friday, but in reality, everyday is Monday.