KT Kuroski

Jimmy Fallon once called me a hungover dirtbag

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@ElonMuskAOC Don’t you fucking go near her Elon

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

I would pad $1 a day to have access to a #MooDeng live stream and I know
I’m not alone 🦛❤️🥹

[✩ CEL ✩ @moonlithoax]

travis at home right now after taylor said
“that person was my boyfriend travis. everything this man touches turns to happiness, and fun, and magic so i want to thank him for adding that to our shoot. I’ll always remember that”

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

Good morning to everyone except the @NCDOT_Charlotte!! I hope your coffee is so hot it burns your esophagus and someone slashes three of your tires and your spouses leave you for your mom

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@DukeEnergy this “planned” outage that we were never made aware of taking place during the work day when most people work from home is really fucking inconsiderate/frustrating/inconvenient. Just wanted to let you know my thoughts! Xoxo

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

Dua Lipa could punch me in the face while wearing a shirt that says “I’m Dua Lipa” and I still wouldn’t know who she is or where she came from

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

There’s no way Kylie Jenner didn’t immediately get the ICK when she saw Timmy baby in #wonka

[ver @silverrstring]

taylor swift in 2011: from when your brooklyn broke my skin and bones i’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight, and did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

travis kelce in 2011: i just gave a squirle a peice of bread

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

When I become President of the United States my first order of business is to ban @GetSpectrum. I wouldn’t wish their shitty service and lack of customer care on my worst enemy, and I have a few to choose from!!!!!!

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@liaaanimal It’d be the best $17 you’ve ever spent!

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

Just discovered Temu and I thought I’d share some of my favorite shirts with the class

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

I’m not a violent person by nature but man if I ever see the girl who hurt @NoahKahan I’m gonna kick her ass!!!!

[Carolina Hurricanes @Canes]

Feeling the love from Jersey 🫶

#LetsGoCanes | @BookCameo https://t.co/RAo7E37AeV

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@Canes @BookCameo The level of petty I aspire to be!!!!

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@MazdaUSA please help! My keys are locked in my car (Mazda CX-50) and my husband has the spare and isn’t home. I tried to use the app to unlock the doors but it says it can’t because the keys are in the car? This is beyond counter productive and does not make sense!!!!

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

@bronxattorney @CloroxCo My mom called me and asked if I wanted to “lead a crusade against Glad” and who am I to say no? Justice for the people!

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

“Have a wedding” they say.
“It’ll be fun” they say.

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

I’d like to have the CEO of @GetSpectrum live in my house for one day and see if he could make it without having a fucking mental breakdown over the horrible wifi. Call me, Tom! Let’s chat! (PS I wrote this tweet with phone data since my wifi is out for the third time today.)

[KT Kuroski @katieek013]

I’m not a jealous person really (any ex boyfriend reading this, just shut up and MYOB) but it’s physically impossible for me to be happy for anyone who got Taylor tickets and that will remain the case until I get MY stubby little hands on them!!!!!!