The End is Nigh

it’s joe! riley! katharina! and stella the cat! every time one roommate says dumb shit, another one of us tweets it here, without attributing it.

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

We have a college degree in living together

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Do you want to know my horrible little dinner. so I take a tortilla/ and then I add. Some peanut butter . and then I add some chocolate chips. and Then I Hold It In My Hand until it’s not a crunchy anymore—anyway I’m going into te kitchen . Don’t worry it’s to. Do something else

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Actually Chuck E Cheese would be a great drag king name

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Tucky Tease would be such a good drag name

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

THATS RIGHT EVERYBODY! THE BOSS BABY IS A GIIIIIIRRRLLL!!!!! BET YOU DIDNT TSEE TH A T ONE COMINGGGG

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Ok hear me out a homophobic closeted succession character and anytime they do anything gay they have to donate a million dollars to chic filet or some other anti-gay charity

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

*while drinking the grimace milkshake

Riley: Do you think in “There Will Be Blood” when Daniel Day-Lewis screams “I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE”, do you think he was talking about the Grimace Shake?

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

And you know who didn’t like that either???

princess diana

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Hi Twitter SOMEONE thinks that this is NOT hugh Jackman

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

More like queer agENDER am I right?? Haha

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Roommate A: “Can I use your bathroom?
Roommate B: one sec
*A scurries away*
*flushing sound*
*A returns; gesturing grandly towards their bathroom*
“My liege”

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

at least i don’t burp like katharina

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

i was casually ripping one of those “famous joe long farts”

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

Roommate A watches Roommate B play the new Zelda game.
Suddenly:
“Do you think that Link has a stamina bar while he fucks?”

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

*checks watch*
“Hey! I hit my move goal! By sitting here…eating a bar of ice cream.”

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

“Look! Stella’s pupils are getting so wide!”
“….so is she….”

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

“Eagles can fly, but chiefs can run.”
“How is running better than flying?”
“Shut up, I’m a marketing genius.”
-Super Bowl 57

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

@reallyrawson Oh hi it’s katharina oops

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

@reallyrawson This is so beautiful it should be illegal

[The End is Nigh @katjoeley]

the m&m’s are going to talk about their wet pussy