Ojalá todos experimenten, al menos una vez, la tranquilidad de estar enamorados de la persona correcta. Esa sensación de saber que puedes querer sin límites, bajar la guardia, sentirte en casa y descubrir que el amor mutuo se convierte en el lugar más seguro del mundo.
Men remarry at a higher rate than women after divorce because nothing cures their ‘depression’ like installing the next unpaid therapist/maid/emotional support system ASAP. Men are generally happier married because someone else is carrying their entire life. Women are generally happier divorced because they finally stopped drowning in someone else’s incompetence and expectations.
I think one of the greatest signs a woman's nervous system is healing is that she starts becoming interested in life again. Not in optimizing it. Not in fixing herself. In living it. She wants to host dinner parties, buy fresh flowers, learn pottery, stay out dancing, read novels, flirt with the barista, and wander bookstores for no reason other than it feels good to be alive.
Patriarchy is so deeply rooted that a woman risking her body through pregnancy and childbirth is treated as ordinary, while a man doing a few household chores is praised as exceptional.
Here is something you have to understand.
You will never nourish or placate an abusive, insensitive or just plain rude partner or spouse into being different.
Never.
People who behave like this don't do it because you've failed somehow. They do it because that behavior works to get them what they want and the consequences for that behavior are minimal.
I've said it before and I'll say it again; a lot of people don't change because you tell them you want them to. They change because the consequences of the current pattern become costly.
Untreated trauma WILL turn into dementia and autoimmune disease. The body keeps score. The emotions you suppressed, the stress you normalized, the pain you never processed, it all builds up in your nervous system. And over time, it starts to break you down.
'relationships are work' means 'you have to put effort into loving each other intentionally & learning how to love each other and communicating properly' not
'your relationship makes you feel stressed and sad most of the time & the other person disrespects you and treats you bad but you stay anyway'