One of my favorite stories is about a woman who falls in love with the wrong man.
He’s the CEO of a successful company, and she’s blown away by his creativity, perseverance, and intelligence.
But it’s all a lie.
He’s just the figurehead, and doesn’t really do anything.
It’s actually his sister who runs the company and has all the characteristics that the woman fell in love with.
But it’s too late. She’s already married the man.
When she finds out, the man is indignant.
“You married me! You’re supposed to love me for me!
You shouldn’t love me for my accomplishments. Why are you so upset?”
It’s an interesting question. Why is she so upset?
For me, it triggered this cathartic experience of realizing that I don’t actually want unconditional love.
I think that the man’s demands for unconditional love, just cause he exists, seems irrational. Unfair. Small.
That of course the woman is right to be mad and to not love him. That demanding somebody love you just because you exist seems kind of insane, when you really look at it.
Maximum entitlement, but wrapped in something that sounds nice. I mean, who’s against unconditional love?
Anyways, how do you interpret the story? What do you think about unconditional love?
------
By the way, this is a sub-plot from Atlas Shrugged. I just didn’t say at the beginning because many people will immediately dismiss anything if it comes from that novel, and I wanted people to engage with the ideas without prejudice
Certainly for the one doing the loving!
Unconditional love is totally set up for being taken advantage of. Another word for it could be unaccountable love.
I still think though that even if it's *not* taken advantage of, it's better to have warranted love rather than unconditional.
Indeed.
I think it's something like:
- Unconditional love from parents to children seems good
- Earned love from romantic partners, but then, once committed, you stay with them, even if they hit hard times or change in a way that's worse for you.
So you can still have long term secure love. Just not unconditional (except from ideally, parents)
I think egalitarianism is bad.
I'm a sufficientarian instead.
I want everybody to have enough, not be "equal".
If everybody in the world had enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle and there were still billionaires, that's a clear win.
Egalitarianism leads to good things, like trying to pull up the worse off.
But it also leads to bad things, like trying to pull down the well off.
Sufficientarianism gets the benefits of helping the worse off without succumbing to the instinct to chop down the tall poppies.
@danfaggella It already existed! It's a philosophy term I recently learned.
And now I'm working on popularizing it. 😁
Isn't it so good?! Way more people should know about it.
@gabriel1 I think you're typical mind fallacying
Many people like talking
Many people find being too direct painful
Many people would find your advice to cause pain and lose out on one of the great pleasures of life
@ManacasterBen I actually think using fostering as a way to adopt cats is strictly superior than going to a shelter and adopting right away.
You get to know the cat in its natural environment which is very different from how they're acting at the shelter