k a y l a

[Tim Young @TimRunsHisMouth]

Why do they always look like this?

[Devin @MrQuilvioVergas]

My wife is sobbing on the couch because the Japanese monkey got beat up again

[Lank Williams Jr. @lankwilliamsjr]

Fellas is it Nazi to have a little motion?

[Alexander Augustine @WurzelRoot]

>cure cancer
>people ignore it and make fun of your birth defect in the comments

[Mads @europemaxxed]

things that scare me:
employment
unemployment
getting married
never getting married
having kids
never having kids
falling in love
never falling in love again

[Pub @PubWanghaf]

Wait till she finds out she’s known as “Barack Obama’s husband”

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Hey sorry I can’t come tonight. I have to sit at home in the dark

[ms mae💋 @Kyriimaee]

It takes me 6 months to calm down plz don’t come bothering me

[Hadas Weiss @weiss_hadas]

on my way to a meetup i initiated when i was in an extraverted mood

[kas𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 @urth2kas]

them: bet you got all kinds of ppl in your phone

my phone:

[Soleil @soleiljolina]

Unfortunately I do enjoy being ruder to someone who was rude to me first

[Matthew Marsden @matthewdmarsden]

ICE is arresting rapists and murderers, and the left is protesting that.

Interesting.

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

im never beating the easily irritated allegations

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Same goes for all male mammals

[im unc @bl1sterex1sts]

Disassociated mid song so now I gotta replay it

[solé @layxsnv]

may whatever the fck happened this year never find me again

[🛸 @tufthug]

staying in the house on weekends

[໊ @user0000O0]

no contact is no contact fuck you and your birthday