✨

I could really use a nap

[trash jones @jzux]

me: i don’t think you were supposed to cut my arms and legs off

AI doctor: you’re absolutely right to push back. you are bleeding out

[Softboy☄️ @softboywin]

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

[✨ @kaylabebie]

Just be aware, if you get in the car with me right now, we are only going to be listening to the new @NoahKahan album. You don’t have a choice. Also, you’re welcome…

[Resko★ @Bloke_Baz]

Can't believe it’s already June . Time flies when you work everyday of your fucking life

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Just letting everyone know I’m reading a book right now. I also drank 7 glasses of water yesterday. Im not saying explicitly that I’m a better person than you, but it is heavily heavily implied. Heaven is going to be awesome!

[Rajvi @rajvishah30]

today someone in office said that “worrying is the worst way to use your imagination” and that’s easily the best thing Ive heard all week

[✨ @kaylabebie]

All I want for Christmas is more girl friends to talk to about fantasy romance books with

[✨ @kaylabebie]

Unexpected life can happen when you make room

[abi @daughterrot]

and for the lady perhaps a scarlet witch solo movie

[✨ @kaylabebie]

@hemminof My coworker just told me that she was quitting because she couldn’t stand working with me, and I nearly cried cause I thought we were besties… I do not deserve to be fucked with like this at 8:30am

[alexei @alexeixbt]

nobody coming to save you also implies
no one is coming to stop you

[dior ✞ @deeore5]

bro shut up you're acting like such an unexpected item in bagging area right now

[alexis ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ @notjackwolfe]

people who don't like musicals lack a certain sense of joy and whimsy. like i'll accept it but i won't respect it

[solé @layxsnv]

i wish taco trucks would cruise the neighborhood like ice cream trucks

[Medusa @Gorgon_Girl]

My favorite songs are the ones that tell me to worship Satan when I play them backwards.

[:) @dxija]

it was indeed NOT that. you motherfuckers warned me. i have no words.

[René @schizohustler]

i can't remember if i'm 28 or 29. doesn't matter i'm basically dead. i died when i was 25 now i live in the zone all the time

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

Don't be afraid to spend money on concert tickets and travel. Be afraid of growing old and realizing the only place you ever went was work.

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

Remember 2 days ago when it was warm and we all had the will to live? God I miss that