teacher: who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?
me: [pointing] it was fucking janice. i saw her after class and she took the cookie from the fucking jar. i fuxking hate janice so much. i was gonna eat that fuckign cookie. i was saving it you bitch.
preschoolers: 😮
i let this man into my home after he was running for zombies and the son of a bitch laid on my bed.. society likes to confuse generosity with stupidity and im beyond disappointed